I haven't done very much posting on things inspirational this year. Going back and looking at most of my blog posts, I'm actually a little surprised. Maybe I just have memories of doing something terribly profound, but ultimately I just resolve into gibberish? For some reason whenever I get ready to start up this Lent blog again, I always have memories of really intense posts talking about my religious journey. Most of my posts are not anything like that. They're just random and weird.
This actually did get me thinking about something else, though. How much of my life do I actually remember properly? I can go back and check these blogs and say to myself, "No...no, Kris this is not how you remember it at all. These are not deep thoughts." Those memories of writing a great many deep blogs are still there, though, still intact. Apparently even when faced with the evidence that something I remember isn't actually how I remember it, my brain clings to this lie it has created.
What else am I misremembering?
I read somewhere that your brain tends to focus on good, positive, uplifting things which is why you might remember the time with your horrible ex as one of the best in your life. If our brains are wired to remembering good things, that's kind of awesome and awful at the same time. It's like having a friend that doesn't want to see you hurt, so they just bring up all the good things you've done, or all the positive aspects of a really horrible outfit, so that you smile. "Nah, we totally nailed the last few Lent Blogs," says Kris' brain, "We were deep and witty and entertaining. Now listen to this song you haven't heard in forever. That's nice, isn't it? It's beautiful day, smile and forget that we actually suck at blogging."
This is all a farce, however. Our brains are befriending us because they know all our secrets and one day they'll use this against us. Like after a night of drinking they might come back against us with pain and all the bitter memories of everything we've ever done. "Oh hey, having a hard time remembering stuff from last night? Remember that time in 2nd grade when Jenny told you you were stupid in front of everyone? Remember how much that sucked? Or that time you were caught in a lie and got grounded for a week? Hey, what about that accident you caused and everyone hated you for it? Remember that? I do. You know what else I remember? I remember you TRYING TO KILL ME with that alcohol last night, but no hard feelings. Oh look...awkward teenage rebellion mishaps, let's just play this over and over again all day."
In conclusion, our brains are kind of assholes.