April 20, 2014

Happy Easter!

Just wrapping up the Lenten season with my obligatory end of year post.  I had a great time doing this blog this year.  I hope that it wasn't terribly depressing reading my thoughts.  I've done a lot of growing over the past month and a half and I look forward to what next year has to bring.  I want to thank all of the people who have supported me over the course of the last year.  I love you all!  You're totally awesome.

If I don't blog again before next year's Lent, have a great year, dear readers, wanderers, and fellow inmates.

April 19, 2014

Easter Vigil

To finish up the Triduum of Thursday-Saturday before Easter Sunday, we had our Easter Vigil tonight.  I spent pretty much the entire day at church setting up for things, taking things down, setting up again, and running through practices.  I don't think I knew exactly how much goes into these kinds of holidays until I started helping out with them!

I think this vigil has become my favorite.  Watching the new Catholics getting baptized and their first communion was so amazing.  I wish I could put exactly into words how wonderful watching the experience was.  It's something I'm going to have to think about before I can explain exactly, I think.  Still, all of the ritual that is involved with the Easter Vigil is great, especially with reminding us why we are Christian and what we are celebrating.  Also, my fasting is over now.  Woo!

I'll probably do my last post tomorrow as per usual with the obligatory suggestion that we might still blog here and there.  Hey, it could happen right?  Year 3!  Woo!

Last Day of Lent!

Well, lent is coming to close so this is my last 'mandatory' post.  I think I did pretty good this year.  I only missed 2 posts and they just happened to be in the same week. 

Easter is tomorrow.  We're going to the in-laws for dinner.  We just got back from their house for a practice run.  Tomorrow we're gonna get up for church and then go over to grandmas house and watch Bishops cousins hunt some eggs.  I'm sure they'll let him play with their eggs after they get all the candy out of them. 

Anyway, to celebrate the end of lent, I'm gonna post a bunch of pictures!  There might be some duplicates in here.  I'm not really keeping track. 

April 18, 2014

Good Friday

Apparently the post I created yesterday did not actually go through.  Either that or I'm losing my mind, because I totally remember making a post and publishing the post, but I no longer see it here.  Very odd.

To make up for that-and thus missing a day of Lent blogging-I have decided to answer a 'viewer question'.  I don't actually know if my sister reads my blogs, so she may not actually be a 'viewer' but I guess she's going to have to in order to get the answer to her question.  Love you sis! :)


I didn't have time to write an answer to my sister's question "Why is today called 'Good Friday'?" this morning.  I did see it, but then I had to go to church.  In a way, I'm very glad I didn't try to answer it then.  The homily was about why today is called Good Friday, and so I am totally going to respond here with what I learned today at church.

Good Friday is called "Good" because it is the day that Jesus fulfilled his ultimate purpose of coming here to reconcile us to God.  He knew what was about to happen to him and he willingly went to death in order to rectify the separation between God and creation.  His sacrifice was "good"; his wounds wash away our sin, and his suffering and death reconcile us to God.

The exact question was the appropriateness of calling the day "Good", I believe, however.  In this case, I would say it is completely appropriate.  If Jesus were just a good man put to death, I could understand why we might be hesitant to call the day a "good" one.  But Jesus was God incarnate in the creation of man and knew that his sacrifice and death would establish a new covenant between God and creation.  As one of the members of the trinity and therefore fully God, but also a member of creation and therefore fully human, he is the only one capable of bringing about the salvation of creation.  So today is a good day, because even though Jesus was crucified, it is the beginning of our hope, salvation, and the triumph over sin.

I hope this Is all accurate and I hope this answers your question, sis!

Cats and Dogs

Well, Odin and Etta are making progress.  Yesterday Etta was hiding in the storage space on the ceiling of the laundry room.  Today she spent a few hours on our bed and then came down on the floor and has been testing the boundaries around the dog.  They were doing really good and they got a few feet apart without either of them freaking out and then Odin went after her.  So I put him outside.  I'm not sure if dogs learn their lesson that way but at least it will make Etta feel better.  She's being so brave compared to yesterday.  I was getting a little worried about her yesterday but I think she's learning that he's not dangerous so she can walk around her own house again.

On another note, I'm going up to my bff's house tonight for a birthday BBQ!  Johns staying home with Bishop so that I can have enough time for fun and not have to be home at 8 o'clock.  This is especially helpful because it's an hour drive to her house.  It's gonna be fun times!

April 17, 2014

New Family Member

Odin is here!  Here's some pictures. 

 So, we have discovered that he is a stuffed animal dog.  After he ran around the yard and absorbed all the new smells, he came inside and picked up every one of Bishops stuffies that were laying on the floor.  There was at least 20 of them lying around.  So I put away all the nice ones that I don't want destroyed and left a few out for him to play with. 

He's wonderful with Bishop.  He licks his face and hands and doesn't care when Bishop grabs his face.  Bishop has cried one time when Odin licked his face too much. 

The only real problem is the cat.  Etta was hiding when Odin came home and when she finally came out, Odin chased her.  So I haven't seen much of Etta since yesterday.  I tried telling Odin 'no' after he chased Etta this morning but I don't know if that'll be enough to get him to stop.  I guess we'll see what happens.  Overall though, he's a really great dog! 

April 16, 2014

Four Days Off!

Tonight is the start of my four day vacation from work.  It is also the start of the end of Lent, with tomorrow being a holy day for Catholics.  I really enjoyed this Lent.  I feel like I encountered a lot of things that I'd been struggling with and am better prepared to go about fixing problems this year.  I really don't have much else to say tonight.  It must be a low-creative evening.

Short. But Cute.

Odin will be home in a couple hours!  I can't wait. 

Bishop just woke up.  I can hear him talking to himself on the monitor.  He's probably standing up by now.  

Here is a visual approximation of what I'm about to walk into.  Except he's still wearing jammies.  I'm gonna go get him now. 

April 15, 2014

Blood Mooney

I stayed up last night to watch the moon turn red and eclipse.  I wanted to get some cool pictures to put up here, but then I realized my stupid digital camera wasn't going to get the kind of photos I really wanted.  So in between running outside to watch the eclipse in the snow (that's right, snow), and coming back inside to warm up, I looked online to see how much it would cost to purchase a camera that could take those kinds of pictures.  As it turns out, it costs considerably less than I thought to purchase a telescope that takes pictures.  So now my goal is to purchase a telescope that takes pictures.

Hey readers!  Want pictures of the next red eclipse in the tetrad?  So do I!  I'd post pictures if I could afford a telescope that takes pictures.  Monetary contributions make all our lives more exciting!  :)

Captian America round 2

So we're going back to the drive-in tonight for round 2 of trying to see Captain America.  This time we're bringing cash just in case so we are almost sure to be successful this time.  The only way we are not seeing this movie is if the theater suddenly shuts down or possibly we are taken over by another country and all of our cash money is invalid for some reason.  In that case, we might have bigger problems than getting to the theater on time. 

John put up my shelf!  Now I can display my growing up dolls.  I don't think I've ever had them all out in one place before.  I used to keep them on my dresser as a kid but mom had all the really young ones put away.  Number 7 was always my favorite because there's a kitty at her feet.  They stop at 16.  I guess that means you're grown up at 16.  I feel like 25 would be a more accurate number.  Although I guess it's different for everyone. 

They're keeping vigilant watch over the dinner table

April 14, 2014

Last week

Only 2 days until Odin comes home!  I don't think I've ever been so excited about a dog.  I usually only care about cats.  I think it's because he's small and I like having animals that can comfortably sit in your lap. 

We're so close to Easter!  That means we're gonna stop blogging everyday but we'll be like "We'll totally still blog sometimes!"  And then do like 2 blogs between now and next lent.  We should arrange more writing events.  Kris and I need to have a conference.  I mean, this really isn't suppose to be a lent blog, it's just become one by default because we are terrible self motivators. 

What's in a Name?

Yesterday I finally did what I have been fighting since I first started working at the gas station; I accidentally started to call my coworker, Haily, "Angela".  I did this twice.  I'm a terrible person.  Yet I maintain that it was an understandable mistake because Haily, like Angela, is into the same random crazy writings, movies, and whatnot that we are.  She even read Twilight like Angela and shares a mutual dislike (and I've kind of been forcing her to watch all of them with me while we listen to RiffTrax, because that is the only way I will watch them).

She would probably fit in with this blog.  Like, if we started actually collecting people to put up articles the way we had planned to do Asylum 204, she would have her own page, because she is one of the entities that feed on random craziness and regurgitate it as awesome.  If we were all together in a room, it would start the end of the world because Jesus would totally come back to chill with us, thus accidentally ushering in the apocalypse.  Or something not sacrilegious but along those lines.  Yeah.

Angela, why aren't we doing Asylum 204 the way we'd talked about?

EDIT:  Oh yeah, because we procrastinate at writing.

EDIT II:  We need to stop doing that.

April 13, 2014


Bishop found a new person to flirt with in church today.  He kept taping her on the shoulder during service.  He was trying to pull himself up on the pew again.  He stands up on everything now.  He started this new things were he hits himself on the side of the head, especially when he's tired.  It's like he's trying to beat himself to sleep.  Apparently him and John are on the same nap schedule.  They both fell asleep at the same time but John slept about 20 minutes longer than Bishop.  Now they're hanging out together while I finish blogging.  Bishop likes to pull the cord out from the computer which is bad cause the battery is shot.  It's so bad that even though it says its fully charged, there's a red X over the battery symbol.  That means "yeah, it's charged but you're battery life is like a minute". 

Here's a picture of Bishop foraging for diaper supplies.  

Palm Sunday

I don't remember going to Palm Sunday last year at my church.  I don't know why, but I really have no recollection of it.  Maybe I didn't?  I think maybe I was at another church for some reason.  I'm really glad I went this year though.  My church does this awesome service where we start outside with the palm branches, then come inside with singing.  After that, we have portions of regular mass, then we do like the entire passion scene with call/response from various readers.  It was totally cool.

I was really glad most of the RCIA crowd showed up for it, since I don't think it's a mandatory service for them to be at our particular church but I also haven't been to a service like that before.  Maybe it's because we always went to Saturday service with Grandma?  I remember getting the palms and going in and having the palms blessed, but I don't remember ever doing all that we did today before.

Last week before Easter!

I'm still doing the fasting thing.  Still blogging.  My sister and I are supposed to be starting an exercise video soon so I'm looking forward to that.  I think I took on too much this Lent and maybe not the right things.  Oh well!  I have the rest of the year to do other things!

April 12, 2014

Emotional Wreck

I don't really know what's going on with me right now, but I do know it isn't healthy.  I keep going through periods of feeling absolutely like nothing is wrong, and then turn around and lash out in anger at the drop of a hat.  I have no idea what that even is.  Am I bottling something up?  Am I blocking something?  Have I started to let something out that I can't control?  Am I just going crazy? I sincerely don't know.

I suppose this is the part where people suggest going and talking to a counselor, and they wouldn't be wrong.  The logistics of it aren't going to be an easy solution, however.  Perhaps all of this could just be resolved with the extended break I've taken from work next week?  I hope so.  I'm drained from all of this up and down.

Lent Fail 2: the search for more money

Wow, I'm really dropping the ball this week.  I think my brain is conspiring against me.  Last night after Bishop went to bed, John asked me if I blogged yet.  I said no and thought I totally need to do that and then IMMEDIATELY FORGOT ABOUT IT!  It's like my brain thought that remembering that I hadn't done it was good enough and decided I was done.  Or maybe it thinks Easter is here already.  Who knows. 

So we adopted a dog today!  He's so cute.  I mean of course he's cute or we probably wouldn't have adopted him.  He's 2 years old and he's a very large chihuahua, like at least twice the size of a regular chihuahua so he's most likely a mix.  We decided to name him Odin.  He wasn't fixed yet though so we can't bring him home until Wednesday.  That gives us plenty of time to prepare.  We already bought a dish, a leash, and a chew toy for him.  I hope he likes Etta.  And Etta likes him.  She's still in heat so I'm pretty sure she loves everything that moves.... and doesn't move for that matter.  Speaking of which, they just opened a low cost spay and neuter clinic next to the shelter we were at so we're gonna make an appointment there soon to fix Etta so she will calm the fuck down.  This cat is out of control. 

April 11, 2014

First Fire of the Season

So we had a bonfire tonight.  It didn't occur to me until just now that I should have taken pictures.  Documenting fun is totally for blogs and blogging!  This just solidifies my theory that if I had a better phone, I'd use it to take pictures and update this blog.  Probably, maybe...most likely.  Yeah.

The last couple of times we've done a fire, we've had one to burn the things we've 'needed' to burn.  Last time, we burnt our parents' old furniture.  Trust me, it needed to go.  I would update with pictures -again- if I had remembered to take some.  This time we were burning all of our trash newspapers and what not.  I think we should stick with couches.  They're more fun to burn.

Anyway!  Just one more week until Easter.  I'm excited to color eggs with my nephew.  I managed to score Thursday through Sunday off this week.  Maybe I'll remember to include pictures this time!

April 10, 2014


I saw a commercial today that started with "Do the numbers on scale keep going up?  It might not be your fault.  It could be your diet."  What?!  My diet?!!  I thought you were just supposed to wish the pounds away?  I was trying so hard!  In all seriousness though, if you have a shitty diet then, yes, it is still your fault.  The only way you can relinquish responsibility for a weight problem are medical issues like a thyroid problem.  I would also say pregnancy but in that case it's not a "problem". 

I'm not saying what specific product they were selling but it was a program that sends you all your food.  You know... in case you don't know how to shop.  You can pay them to shop for you.  Then you won't have any money to buy junk food! 


There are so many things I just want to get into this post right now while I'm inspired.  I've decided to do a series of shorts in a sort of collage because I don't think I can make full posts out of any of them.

The Stone Table

It's not as epic as the Sword in the Stone, but it's basically the same story!  My sister and I came across an advertisement online this past weekend offering a "Free granite table to anyone who could lift it".  Naturally intrigued, we clicked on the link to discover that it was not so much a "table" as much as it was a granite slab just put on top of wooden supports.  We immediately decided that this must be some kind of test.  If you can lift the table, it's yours because you are naturally some manner of royalty right?  If you can lift the table, you can rule from the table.  Too bad it was rectangular instead of round.

Spring at Last!  Spring at Last!

It's finally started to warm up...sort of.  We are STILL getting snow flurries here and there, but overall it is bearable to be outside.  It's also practically jacket weather.  As such, my sister and I have decided to put up a garden.  I can't wait, although the last time we tried this it didn't work out terribly well.  We got like...two small carrots and some mini-corns what had full size kernels.  This year will be different!  Although we are totally going to have to devise a way to keep the rabbits at bay.  Our dog is a good rabbit chaser, but there's only so much she can do at night, and I don't know if we'll get the go ahead to make a fence.  We shall see!

Happy Birthday!

This last is just a shout out to my niece whose birthday it is today.  Lots of love!  I hope your day is wonderful!

April 9, 2014

One Does Not Simply Contact Krangela


So I realized that I totally missed my blog for today and I had a really good one I was going to employ, but then I logged on to see an advertisement that makes absolutely no sense attached to one of Angela's posts.  Hello to you too sir, and welcome to the Asylum.  You apparently seem to fit right in with your interesting form of internet insanity.  Anyway, as promised to you, here is your space to uh...clarify whatever it was you meant.

I must be crazy.  Maybe I shouldn't indulge these people.

Angela?  John?  Thoughts?  Post below.  Here's your comment space people.

EDIT:  Also, touché sir.  I find it incredible that after you came here and spouted off on our blog, you find it prudent to filter/block your own.  I think we shall be looking into this.

EDIT II:  After further research into our blog, I've decided to include this little tidbit.  It's like Easter Eggs in a video game!  We have exactly ONE article that gets ALL The spam and then another article that got one.  The winner of the spam article contest is:  Jesus Gest Toast, Dumbledore Gets Trucks.

Final EDIT:  So as it turns out, our little spam poster is pretty much as I expected him to be.  I had such high hopes for this strangeness that suddenly vomited a random, rambling post all over Angela's poor Lent post yesterday.  A little investigation reveals that he's one of those people who just wants validation and no conversation.  What a pity.  We could have made beautiful insanity together.  Now that post just gets moved to spam.  But anyone else who'd like to contact the Krangela with randomness can still feel free to utilize the space below!  It's so lonely down there!

Lent Fail

I missed my blog yesterday.  I don't even have a good excuse.  I just put it off and then we left to go see Captain America.  But we didn't even get to see it cause they couldn't accept cards at the drive-in and we didn't have enough cash.  So that was about an hour of driving around for nothing.  I guess I was just too disappointed to think about blogging. 

So I googled my maiden name today.  All the results were me and it knew what my married name was.  It's like the internet is stalking me.  One website thinks I still live in Georgetown.  Two other websites think I used to live in Portland.  I've never even been to Portland.  Another website thinks my fathers name is Patrick.  I mean, it might be cause he was adopted and doesn't know his original name but I don't think the website actually knows this.  I think they just confused him with my brother.  Another website thinks I'm related to someone named Daniel Maples.  Then I googled my married name.  None of them were me.  I'm way more anonymous now.  Yay! 

April 8, 2014

Constantly Amazed

I seriously don't know how people actually get to our blog, but I'm always amazed when I see our stats.  This last month we had over 800 views.  Many of those views this week are from outside of the country (at least a good quarter).  Who reads these blogs?  No, I mean, really.  Obviously everyone reads Angela's because they have been topping all of mine since the beginning of Lent.  And I certainly don't blame anyone.  I've been awfully whiney this year.  It's kind of a blah time for me right now.  I'm just saying, you people are strange and wonderful.  I should reward you with more strangeness than I do.

Thanks for reading!

April 7, 2014

Building things

I made this today!  It's my new nightstand.  And by "made" I mean I put it together.  It's from Ikea.  Their furniture is a lot of work.  But I had help. 
He mostly just tried to climb all over my stuff.  He is very determined.  He doesn't hesitate, he just goes for it.  I'm glad we no longer have stairs because he would be all over those. 

Journaling is LIKE Blogging With Yourself

Why does that sound dirty?

I started journaling again yesterday.  After a rough day and pretty much being left emotionally drained, I just wanted somewhere to try to work through some of these feelings and properly quantify them into their right place.  It's pretty slow going.  I don't really know what will come from it.  We'll see how it goes.  Right now, it seems terribly random and confusing, but then that's kind of how I feel on the inside, all random and confused.

I also subbed for the best class EVER today.  The kids were so interested in what we were learning.  They were like little sponges sucking up everything and loving what was happening.  I know, because they didn't want to stop reading the story we were reading together and everyone was saying how much they liked it.  It made me sad I had to end class.  Days like these are what teachers dream of.

April 6, 2014

Busy Sunday

We did lots of stuff today.  We went to church, IHOP, Ikea, and Ross.  Bishop was being super wiggly in church.  He kept going back and forth between me and John.  When he was sitting with John, he would grab the pew in front of him and pull himself up and then tap the lady in front of us on the shoulder so she would pay attention to him.  He loves people.  He's just like his dad.  He doesn't seem like the type to show off or do crazy things to get attention, he just likes smiling at everyone.  Hopefully this means he'll be social but calm.  He's gonna be popular.  He's already got the looks.  The lady at IHOP said all the chicks would be after him.  I said they already are.  Who could say no to this face?!

What? You needed this filed right?

Starting Anew

I had a good long chat with one of the priests at my church today and I've resolved myself to finally move forward on some things that have been keeping me back.  I just want to bury the past in the past and not have it come back to haunt me over and over again.  This week threw me for a loop, because I got side swiped by some pretty rocky parts of my past out of the blue; things that still hurt to think about and also things I didn't know would still hurt when I encountered them again.

After that discussion, I learned some of the reasons behind why those things came up again.  This time, it didn't hurt to talk about.  I don't feel the same weight I did when it happened for 'no reason'.  A part of me feels like I should feel worse about it, but I actually don't.  I'm a little irritated by what happened now, but I no longer feel like it's hovering over me, holding me back.  Either.

I obviously need to take a serious look at what's going on with me, which is going to take a lot of introspection and prayer, but I'm finally ready to move on with my life and I finally feel like I'm in a position to do it.

I just want to finish this post with a huge thank you to every single one of my friends.  I love you all.  You are all awesome.  I'm not a perfect friend.  At times I'm probably unbearable to be around, but you never make me feel like I'm a burden.  You've been here for me in ways you probably will never realize and I'm sorry if I've ever made you feel taken advantage of or awkward.  I hope you all keep in contact with me over the years, because you're awesome.  The best people, honestly.

Thank you!

April 5, 2014

Lateness and Literature

I had pretty much decided to go to bed when I realized I'm late for yet another post.  These haven't been the best for me this year either.

I started reading the Screwtape Letters earlier this week.  I can't put the book down.  I almost finished it in two days, really.  It's a good one.  I can't believe I missed it when I was in college (apparently it's the college must read).  It's terribly creepy in one sense, because it's like the perspective of demons and how they're messing with people.  But then it's entirely mind blowing from another perspective.  I simply can't comprehend how C. S. Lewis completely put a finger on practically every way that we ignore God's call in our lives.  It just boggles my mind.  I would recommend it as a must read, theologian or no.  I'm totally going to go back to Mere Christianity after this, if I can find my copy of it, and have another good read.

That's all really.  Go read a good book!

It's Saturday

I don't really have anything to write about today.  But I have plenty of cute pictures.  Like this one. 

John says I don't write about him enough.  Probably cause I don't take pictures of him everyday.  Blogs are more exciting with visuals.  John fixed our washing machine.  He said it makes him feel like a man.  Plus we can wash our clothes now.  Now I just need a dresser to put them in. 

April 4, 2014

End of the Week

Finally made it to the end of the week.  I'm currently chilling with my dog who can't stop barking if I'm not in the room with her while Steve is helping us fix our leaky pipes in the basement.  This makes me feel awful, actually, but with my nephew upstairs trying to sleep, I can't have a barking dog about.

I've decided to reserve this post for my update.

Fasting is almost over.  I've notice I have much less of an appetite, I can go for long periods of time without food and not feel sick anymore, and I'm actually learning that I can do without a lot of things that I used to use to distract myself.  Reading theology book and scripture is also surprisingly 'filling' in a way.

Still having problems with the cursing, but it's getting better!  I keep saying that, but this is rather turning into a long-run goal instead of a Lent thing.

My sister brought home a new abs workout tape.  I'll be starting that with her soon, hopefully.


Por que?!
Someone was being cranky pants this morning.  He was crying about everything!  He's finally playing quietly with his toys.  I think he heard me typing about how good he was being because he came over to play with my computer cord.  He's thinking "how dare you call me a good boy... ha, look what I'm doing now!"  Girls never act like this!  They don't feel the need to touch everything they're not suppose to.  They just cause a lot of drama. 

April 3, 2014

Day Off...ish

Tomorrow is my day off from my 'full time' job.  I can't wait.  I'm so fed up with this week, that I seriously can't take another day there.  I get one more day of subbing for a class I had a lot of fun subbing for today and then I have the afternoon off tomorrow.  And NO I am NOT getting called in, absolutely NOT!

I felt like a "grammar Nazi" today.  A couple of students kept misusing apostrophes.  First a student was trying to make a plural word possessive, but put the apostrophe before the "s".  Then the same student and another one RIGHT next to that student tried to make a word plural, but used an apostrophe to make it possessive.  These are Juniors in high school.  Seriously, what are they being taught anymore?

Just Hangin out

I was gonna rant about the ending of How I Met Your Mother but.... I just don't feel like it anymore.  I made my point to John and now I just don't wanna think about it anymore.  Maybe I'll write about it tomorrow. 

I'm hanging out watching the Newlywed Game while I wait for John to get home.  I was thinking it would be a fun game to play with other couples on a game night.  John and I were watching it the other day and answering the questions.  I just looked over at Bishop and he's chewing on something.  He's crawling away from a corner of the living room with literally nothing to eat.  *sigh* babies....

April 2, 2014

Paper eater

So I was going through some papers and started putting all of the trash paper in a cardboard box.  Bishop promptly pulled every piece out of the box to chew on or play with.  I caught him in the act, which full disclosure, was really easy to do cause I was sitting right next to him.  It happened pretty fast too.  I set the box down and about 2 minutes later, it was completely empty. 

Now he's whining at me.  I think it's bath time.  I'm gonna go wash the rest of the chicken bits off of him from dinner time. 

And Then She Got Mad (might want to just pass this one up)

Warning:  If you don't want to read about my problems, just skip this one.  You aren't missing anything much.

Are their stages of frustration?

Hold that thought.

I'll be.  Yes.  There are totally stages to anger.

One internet search later and my course of this post is completely redirected.  Still, I'll provide some background.  Some.

The last oh....five days I believe, I have been dealing with a lot of high pressure and low pressure situations.  I've been drug into arguments I never wanted to be a part of.  I've been dealing with situations that should never have happened.  I've been pulled at to cause problems I have no business being a part in.  The little bits and pieces of me have become frayed with trying to take myself out of it all.  I was, in my mind, successfully handling the situation until today.

I woke up angry.  I'm on the warpath.  I'm out for blood.  I am so irrationally miffed that I was easily set off by that stupid internet craze going around of people taking pictures of themselves sans make-up and calling it cancer awareness.  And let me lead you down this train of logic for a moment just to get a look at how firmly past irritation we've crossed with five days of constant pressure:

"OH. MY. GOD.  What is WRONG with people?  How is a PICTURE supposed to actually DO something about curing cancer?  I'm so glad you can take a selfie without make-up.  I'm sure someone out there struggling with cancer is so RELIEVED the word is getting out via your heroic act of photography instead of DONATING to the cause to help with paying for their medical bills or to help sponsor research."

That happened faster than I could type it and faster than you could read it.  That went through my brain in under 30 seconds after I saw one more person doing this on facebook.  THAT is the point of mad I am at.  The shaking, unable to contain myself, one small word is going to set me off, please for the LOVE OF GOD LEAVE ME ALONE TODAY mad.

The problem?  I have a high stress 'fulltime' job and I have to work said job today.  I'm going to be put in the middle of another high stress situation very shortly.  Tomorrow I work TWO high stress jobs.  THERE IS NO END IN SIGHT.  This week has been constant harassment to me.  And the people I've tried to just talk to are NOT the right people.

Instead of just letting me vent irrationally so that I can calm down and think things through, their reaction has been:  "clearly you aren't doing anything about your situation so now I have to lecture you about how you can totally handle all these things that aren't in the least bit under your control and tell you how bad you are at managing your life because if you just look for something you'll see you totally could have done something about this situation that I know nothing about."  SHUT.  UP.  How is that EVER helpful, especially to someone who is already basically carrying a loaded gun of anger and words?  Do you really think right now is the right time to play the victim card?  If you don't want to listen just kindly find a means of escape.  Something like:  "Yeah, that sucks.  I'm going to let you calm down now," is preferable.  I'm actually really sorry that I have to talk my problems through.  I just NEED to vent.  Once it's out, I think more clearly and if you're not the person that wants to hear about the bad parts in my life along with the good, then just please stop me with kindness and let me go on with venting to someone or to somewhere else.  Lectures will only make me MORE angry and now that anger is unfortunately, inadvertently directed at you.

I lost the point of this post.

I'm not looking to justify my anger.  I recognize that a lot of it has been slowly escalating since Saturday.  I don't want validation.  I don't want advice right now.  I didn't even want to be angry.  I literally woke up angry, which is something I don't like.  It sets an awful tone for the rest of the day.  I sincerely don't know how some people can just brush things off.  I don't operate that way.  I have been making a lot of progress in getting the reigns on what sets me off, but I'm not perfect and I likely never will be.

Is it possible to be validated in your anger if you know you aren't going to DO anything with it?  Or is it better to keep pretending it's not there and to try to work around it?  Because I've tried doing both and neither works.  The best thing that's helped is writing out this blog.  As vague as it is about the specifics of what's going on today, at least I've managed to say what I wanted to say without fear of reprisal/negative response.

EDIT:  I'm being proactive.  Donate

April 1, 2014


I totally meant to come online and do a blog post tonight, but I got home and got distracted with more bad news.  I really kind of just want to go to sleep now.  It's like this week is just trying to cram as much as possible and I'm not handling it well.  I'll try to do a proper, not late, post tomorrow.  Right now, I just want to give up.

Hats and Mysteries

I bought Bishop a sun hat.... just in time for the rain storm.  He looks kinda fabulous in it.  He's even got the model face going. 

Speaking of the rain, it was hailing like crazy today during Bishops nap time.  I was worried he might wake up but he slept right through it.  Then a few minutes after the hail storm, he woke up.  I think it was too quiet for him.  He can't sleep through all that peace and quiet. 

I think after the rain is over, he's gonna be ready to do some gardening.  I'm gonna buy him a little baby shovel and let him play in the dirt.  Hopefully he'll be past the stage were he needs to eat everything he touches.  Which reminds me, I was changing his diaper today and I noticed he was chewing on something.  He was no where near cheerios or anything edible when I picked him up so I took it out of his mouth thinking it was a piece of paper or some other random thing he found on the floor.  It was a piece of chicken.  As in, one of the pieces of chicken he had for dinner last night.  I have no idea where it came from.  I swept the floor and wiped down his highchair after he ate and also changed his jammies.  Was he storing it in his diaper?  Did he horde it somewhere so he could come back for it later?  These are the things that keep me up at night.