Cousins

Bishop got to hang out with his cousins on Saturday.  Austin was letting him play with his toys.  Then Bishop was sucking on The Thing (cause he's a baby) and Austin went and got a paper towel to wipe it off.  It's weird seeing anyone who cares about baby drool.  It's good thing he didn't spit up on him.  Especially when
Bishop was laying on top of him.  Austin probably wouldn't want to play with him anymore.  Then Bishop would be sad.

Baby tackle!

Might Be a Scam

I seriously dislike our post office.  I have never EVER successfully just gone in and gotten out with anything, including stamps.  Today was the ultimate middle finger though.  I was there for 45 minutes.  45 minutes.  Now you may be thinking "Well yeah, if there's a line.." THERE WAS NO LINE.  I was the line.  This included things like them trying to tell me that I needed to buy one of their boxes, forcing me to repackage a box with some of their bubble-wrap because I unfortunately had none with me, trying to charge me for the tape that I brought in, and then telling me that they were going to be forced to send my mail first class after all, even though they knew what was in it when they told me I could ship it regular mail first.

I saw a sign over to my left that said "It might be a scam" in big letters.  Their poster was talking about some scam going on with lottery.  I think it's more appropriate for that particular location.  I have absolutely NEVER had issues ANYWHERE ELSE but with them.  You'd think I'd learn to go somewhere else.

Diet

I've thought of a new diet.  Eat all of your food while holding a 9 month old.  You can only eat with one hand and you have to hold him away from the food on the table and the entire time its traveling to your mouth.  Not to mention keeping him away from the table itself if there are things on there to grab.  It has the duel purpose of making you eat really slow and also burns calories from keeping the baby out of reach from everything. 

We made some chicken for Bishop today.  He decided the best course of action was to wear it.  It was super cute.  And messy.  But mostly cute. 

Chicken is a hat right?

You know what they say...

Angela and I went to the mall today. It has become our Sunday tradition to go people watching at the mall and get coffee and just unwind. With my busy work schedule and the move it hasn't happened in a really long time. So it was good to get out of the house for a few hours and walk around the mall. We always park on the Nordstroms side because that's the fastest way to the coffee and the best seats.

I took this picture of a truck parked in a compact spot to help illustrate my point. This person may not be an asshole, but he sure parks like one... You know what they say about douche bags that drive lifted trucks and I can only guess he read "compact" and thought "yah, it is pretty small, this spot must be for me..." I have never understood the mentality of these morons and their awful ability to park their lifted trucks. But it's a trait that is shared between all of them.

It may not be lifted by much... but it still counts... 

Stuck in the Mud

I was reminded today, because of the fields being wet as they are, of my childhood.  Practically every year my grandfather would get his tractor stuck in the mud it seemed, and we would always go out to rescue him from the mud.  I still have no idea how they ever got the tractor going.  Honestly.  I remember seeing it stuck in the field, but we were always sent back to the house so the adults could get it out.  Even though he went out when it was too wet every year, every time it happened my Dad and Uncle would drive out there and help him get it out.

I kind of like that about my family.  Even if you're ridiculous enough to keep getting yourself stuck in the mud, there's always someone willing to come running to dig you out.  My friends are kind of like that too.

Thanks everyone.

Exhasperation

After some really good news this week, I've just had a not so great finale.  The best part was being able to see my friends yesterday.  I'm just going to reserve this post for an update instead.

Still fasting.  I accidentally ate a little more than I intended yesterday and the result was not being hungry for the rest of the day, also feeling quite sick.  I'm convinced I'll need to be careful when I'm done doing this now.  My stomach probably shrank, which isn't necessarily a bad thing.

The cursing thing is totally not working out.  I'm still trying, but it's just not going well at all.  I consider this a Lent fail.  At least I'm still trying.

Exercises have been interrupted due to lack of sleep.  I'm having the worst insomnia.  I'm too tired to do things, but too awake to sleep.  I'll get back into it once I get a decent night sleep.

Was there something else I was doing other than this blog?  I don't remember!

Dressed up

Bishop got all dressed up yesterday to go to Hobby Lobby.  I had never been there before.  It's pretty nice.  I went to get something to make stencils with and ended up getting picture frames for our family picture wall.  It's gonna be hard picking the cutest pictures of Bishop to put up.  I want to use all of them.  I don't think there's enough space in the whole house to hang up all of the cute pictures I have of him.  He can't take a bad picture.  Kinda like Barney Stinson.  But waaaaaay cuter. 

Not Forgotten, Just Late

For some reason I was having issues getting onto our blog today.  Now I am late for a blog post.  I feel kind of bad too, because I don't actually have much to talk about today.  I'm hoping this will change for tomorrow.  :(  Love!

Hello to all!!!

Dear Internets,

As some of you might know I am John, Angela's husband. I don't know why it took me so long to come up with the idea of writing here, but as they say, "You can't rush perfection." I assume that the person who coined that phrase was shopping for X-rated movies at 9:59 at a Blockbuster that closed at 10:00 and felt a bit rushed.

I used to (still do but never log on) have a blog called "After the Credits" where I reviewed movies. Since I no longer get to see movies on their opening nights, I kind of stopped after an 8 post run. I think from time to time I will review movies because I think that is what I am best at in the world.

Right now Angela is watchguing me blog... and we are ghabibng a staurubg cimtest and i dont know if thins is coming outt ruright. Vuut im fouing tro leave ut ecen ius itr iusntr .

Ok, where was I? Right! my old blog. Angela and I came up with a system for rating movies and I'm going to expand on it just a little for this blog. First off, they are either good movies or bad. Then I award points or "Heads" ranging from .5 to 10. The bad movies are on the Stewart Scale and the good movies are on the Willis Scale. I know what you are thinking, "But Patrick Stewart is awesome...", and you are right. The Stewart Scale is based on Kristen Stewart who has never made a decent movie ever.

On the flip side, I'm assuming you know who Bruce Willis is and IMO he has never made a movie that wasn't at least the smallest bit watchable when compared to the aforementioned "Actress"

In closing... I'm not sure how often im going to blog or if it will even be readable/likable, so stand warned. Until next time Internet... You stay classy...

My Husband

John wants me to write about how awesome he is.  Actually, his exact quote was "You should write about how a... holy shhhhh..." and he never clarified so I filled in the rest by myself.  Then he said "pst!" to the baby cause he was grabbing the cord as if Bishop was a cat.  It didn't work.  He's still playing with it. 

If you're wondering why John is home on Friday afternoon, it's because he's super awesome.  He worked really hard during the first part of the week so his boss told him to take Friday off.  Now I get him to myself alllllll day.  We're gonna go shopping.  I should probably go get ready. 

Bath Time

I've been wanting to give my dog a bath for a while now, but with all the snow I didn't want to dry out her fur if she needed the oils in it.  I've never really owned a beagle and she's short hair, so I don't really know what they need.  I suppose one could argue that I have the internet at my disposal and could very easily look this information up myself.  Well one is clearly smarter than I was.

So anyway, I gave her a bath today because it's super muddy outside and I was tired of seeing her coming in covered in mud and trying to scrape it off with a towel.  She did not approve.  She stood against the wall with her paws spread out like I was delousing her or something.  I even tried giving her a choice of shampoo, but she didn't like any of the smells so I chose the one that would be least offensive.  How did she repay me?  She licked herself 'clean'.  Apparently she is not the right smell right now.  Animals are weird.

I'm going to have to figure out how to let her out to do her 'business' without her getting all muddy again.  Maybe a rainy day was NOT the right day for this.

Busy

 This little guy is super busy exploring every corner of the house.  He's so busy that he wore himself out and is currently sleeping on me so I have to type with one hand.  It's taking fooooooooooorever!  But he's cute, I don't wanna disturb him. 

So there's lot of random cats that wander through our yard.  I've seen 3 different ones since we've been here.  I think one of them wanders through everyday.  He's a large fluffy tuxedo cat.  I'm assuming it's a boy because it's enormous.  It's nice to see cats wandering around because I'd like to let Etta go out eventually after she gets fixed and it's good to know that it's safe out there. 

"oh hey... I need this arm"

9 months old!

Etta and Bishop trying to escape

Today Bishop is 9 months old!  He has officially been alive longer on the outside than the inside.  Although he was a week early so that actually happened a week ago.  Only 3 more months and he'll be a whole year old!  Then we can have a party at our new house.  I'm excited about the idea of having people over and not have to worry about parking or explaining the best way to get into our apartment complex or worrying about being too noisy for neighbors that we share a wall with.  If we're too noisy at our house, either our neighbors are being unreasonable or the party is out of control.  I don't think either of those will be a problem. 

So, unrelated, I was watching Ink Master last night and the challenge was to tattoo Photo-realistic X-men characters.  If you've never seen it, Ink Master is a tattooing competition.  Anyway, Hugh Jackman showed up to basically look at the tattoos and talk about how amazing they all look and then announce the winner that the judges already picked.  But someone got a tattoo of Bishop.  He's a tall black time traveling mutant with red eyes.  He's the character that Kayla thought we were naming our son after.  He's not, but he does seem like a pretty cool character.  The thing is, this person was getting a tattoo of this person before the movie is even out.  It's not like a comic book thing either cause its a realistic tattoo of the actor in costume.  I guess they're taking a huge gamble that the movie doesn't suck.  Or that the actor does justice to the character.  Here's a picture for reference.  

X-men Bishop

Financial Woahs!

Following the terrible day I had yesterday, I knew I absolutely had to call Sallie Mae today.  I did not want to do this.  Here's been the gist of my experience with them so far:

1st time calling:  I can't pay $420/month on student loans.  I cannot afford it.  I make about that a pay check.  You're asking me to pay an entire pay check a month when I have almost $800 in bills to cover a month.  You're asking me not to eat or to have money to get to work.  The best you can do is make it $210?  I can't afford that. Again, I will not be able to eat or get to work.  Oh!  You can send me paperwork to fill out so I can have affordable payments?  Do that.

2nd time calling (1 month later):  I never received the paperwork.  No, it did not come by e-mail.  I never asked for it by e-mail, it was supposed to arrive by mail by now.  You can't work with me to make affordable payments over the phone at all?  Filling out paperwork is the only chance I have to be approved?  I can't make this $420 payment this month, I just can't.  Okay, you'll defer my loans without penalty again and send me the paperwork?  Good, thanks.

I sent out the paperwork almost a month ago, paying to have it sent express mail so they'd receive it ASAP.  They proceeded to send me a bill this month for $425.  So much for deferring my loans without penalty.  So here I was, sitting on an even MORE expensive bill I couldn't pay with a company who won't work with me other than through paperwork to pay back a loan I never took from them nor wanted to, because the company I went with sold my account to this one.  I had no idea what I could possibly say to them to convey that I could in no way afford $425/month if I couldn't afford $420/month, and my confusion for why it's become more expensive now AND what is my status on all that paperwork I just paid to have sent to them anyway.

So I went to check the mail as a last ditch effort to see if anything had changed.  I had received a letter from them this week after all.  I had no idea what to expect from it, I was certain I was going to be turned down because I couldn't send my tax information from last year because I no longer have it.  I had to send my pay check stubs which make it seem like I make more money/month than I actually do.

Imagine my intense surprise, relief, and joy when I learned they'd approved me.  I now owe them whatever I can afford to pay.  I'm so grateful that this happened, because I was absolutely certain I wasn't going to be approved.  Thank God!  Now I'm going to celebrate by paying off the other bills I owe and have been sitting on with worry over Sallie Mae.  Being an adult is 'awesome'.

Off Day

What a day today.  About the only thing to go right is the time I got to spend with my friends.  I work up this morning to find one of my poor birds dead and it pretty much went downhill from there.  Well, really it went downhill from accidentally waking up 3 hours past when I intended.  After that, I proceeded to drop practically everything I touched etc. etc.

I'm going to turn the rest of the day on its head, however.  Time to find something constructive to do before bed.  Like exercises...and probably more hanging with friends.  Yes.  That sounds like the perfect way to say sit down and go home day, you are drunk.

Comparison

I know everyone says Bishop looks like me (cause he does) so I thought I'd make a little baby comparison picture.  In case you can't tell, I'm on the left and Bishop is on the right.  My pictures are a little blurry because I just took a picture of the pictures I had.  Our printer/ scanner isn't hooked up yet. 

I still want to get a picture of John as a baby.  I think it's hard to tell if they look alike because Bishop has my nose which is the most prominent feature.  Bishop does have Johns feet.  And possibly ears.  I don't know where he got his south paw.  Maybe left handedness is a recessive gene. 

Climber

Bishop is in this phase where he climbs over everything.  Even if its not in his way.  The problem is he often chooses things that don't stay put and he ends up falling over.  He was trying to climb unto the car seat earlier.  I saw him pulling himself up then looked away and the next second he was on the floor crying.  I don't even know how he hurt himself.  I didn't hear a bump or anything. 

In the picture, he's climbing over his musical toy that my mom bought him for Christmas.  He's actually really good at climbing on it even though it slides around on the carpet. 

Being Domestic

I suddenly decided to be domestic today and made some homemade bread and chicken noodle soup from scratch.  Right now, I'm waiting for the noodles to finish boiling and then I get to reap the tasty fruits of my labor.  I'm super excited!  The only thing I'm missing is some people to share this with.

I guess that's why I decided to blog about my soup and tasty bread extravaganza today.  It's like sharing it with everyone who reads this on the internet, which is like sharing it in person.  It's almost the same!

I sort of wish I had the opportunity to cook for others more often.  I would totally make a bunch of things I wouldn't eat everything of myself.  Maybe I did miss my calling as a cook.

Edit:  It was totally awesome!  Yay!

Religious Goodness

I had another one of those days where it seemed like the church sermon was lining up with things I'd been thinking about this week.  I wonder if I'm just really on board with the direction Mass is taking now or if my life is just lining up happily like that to mess with me.

I spent this afternoon reading some scripture and had an epiphany.  The same text that a bunch of ministers were using on me as a reason why Catholicism was preaching a false religion is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT when in the proper context.  I have a bunch of great resources which all help me to contextualize scripture now as opposed to when I was 19 and just starting off learning about theology and philosophy and at the mercy of those who were teaching me.  Wow.  Also, I think with some hind sight and when I started thinking about it, it was kind of ridiculous to take on the belief that particular parts of scripture are speaking out against an institution that wasn't technically in existence, even if the framework was being built.  Just saying.

All in all, it was a pretty awesome day!  I'm looking forward to next week when I get to talk about and lead RCIA in the Rosary.  Grandma J. taught me about how to do it and it's something special I've always loved her for.

Recovering

Last night was so much fun.  I am so tired today though.  I didn't get to bed until almost 3am and Bishop was up at 8:30.  John got him to sleep last night. That is a huge accomplishment.  Usually I have to do it cause I'm the one that feeds him.  He went down really easy tonight *knock on wood*.  I think he's getting used to his new house!  Naps are still a little difficult.  He went down for a nap today but then only slept for 30 minutes.  It kinda sucked cause I wanted a nap too.  It's cool, I'll sleep really good tonight. 

Freebies!

Tonight was pretty awesome at work.  It totally made up for the not awesome day of yesterday.  I got to work with Haily and she had her mom send me and her a piece of cake each.  Then a regular came in and just gave me a pair of the most gorgeous earrings ever.  I immediately replaced the studs I'd been wearing to reopen my ears with them, because they are amazing.

I really love how people can be so awesome sometimes.  If we were all just a little more generous, this world could be an amazing place.  I hope one day I'll be in a position to be more financially generous, but until then, I'm open to being generous with the things I have.  After all, I can use a little less things and a little more smiles from random people in my life.

Party night!

So tonight I get to ditch the family and hang out with my two favorite girls in the world!  We're gonna party bff style by going to a gay bar.  I feel like one day, all the gay bars in the world will just be filled with straight girls partying with their friends.  I've never actually been to a gay bar but I only ever hear straight girls talk about going there. 

But before we party, we're gonna go clean up our old apartment.  Hopefully its the last time I have to go there.  Although we might end up going back tomorrow if we don't finish today.  Things always take longer when there's a baby.  I learned this from painting.  Bishop doesn't understand "10 more minutes".  When he wants attention, he wants it now. 

It's about the get crafty in this house

Look what the most amazing husband in the world got me today!  I've been wanting a sewing machine for a while now.  Now I get to do all sorts of crafty things! 

On another topic, I realized Bishop is a leftie today.  I suspected he was for a while but he was too young to tell so I just forgot about it.  Then today he was holding his bib and waving it around and I realized he was using his left hand.  Then it dawned on me that he uses his left hand to grab and eat cheerios.  I guess we have a creative type on our hands! 

Something Missing

Since yesterday I've been totally pumped up.  It's absolutely because I remembered The Protomen.  I forgot how much I need to hear their music, and I'll tell you why.

So much music in modern society is about giving up.  I'm not one of those people who can just give up easy.  Anyone who knows me is aware of this!  It's probably really annoying to most of my friends.  They love me anyway.  I have awesome friends.  (Thank you for loving my stubborn self, friends!).  I digress; I can't stand a lot of modern music because I can't empathize with giving up or giving into grief.  Tangentally, I can to a degree.  I suffer from depression, but I've never just let it consume me.  I struggled for years to find a solution to this chemical imbalance in my brain, did research for years, used myself experimentally for years, until last year I figured out what my trigger was and am doing SO MUCH BETTER.  Also, I can't stand a message that tells us to just give up.  If anything, that only makes me want to fight harder against such a mentality.

I love music that pumps me up and inspires me to keep on going.  I miss that.  There are so few bands out there that get recognized who profess an upbeat message like that.  I want more of it.  I crave it!  My muse craves it.  It makes me want to go out and kick the world in the face and tell it to sit down and shut up because it's never going to keep me down.

That being said, this is also absolutely why I wanted to be a teacher to begin with.  I want to teach kids not to give up, and to better themselves.  I want them to know that they don't have to be victims of social consumerism telling them how to be and what's cool, but that they can derive the change just by being themselves and bettering themselves.  I also want them to learn to take a stand against people to try to knock them down, not through violence, but with tenacity.  I'm thinking of a specific incident here where a student I was subbing for came up to tell me that she didn't want to go to music because her instructor had taken all of the fun out of learning to play the guitar for her.  When I asked how, she said the instructor had told her she was awful at playing the guitar and should just quit.  The girl had only JUST picked it up.  Of course she was going to suck.  No one just picks up a guitar and plays well.  I told her this and then I told her "Don't let her win.  If it's something you love and want to learn, then learn it.  And don't learn it to shove it in her face later, but learn it because it's something you love and want to do.  Put your passion into it and don't look back and the naysayers; no one ever picked up an instrument and was a genius at it."  The world needs more people telling kids to try rather than preventing them from trying out of fear.

This blog took a weird turn.  I'm just going to leave this here.

Some days...

I just have zero inspiration.  I mean, there's probably plenty to talk about, I just don't wanna.  But I'm not giving up cause I'm not lame like Kris's friend who doesn't even want to try lent.  You know, there have been days during lent over the past 4 years (4 years? holy shit!) when I forgot to write a blog post, but I never thought "fuck it, I give up" no!  Cause I'm a professional!  I should probably not put off writing until this late.  My brain is starting to shut down cause its almost bed time and Bishop is asleep so my cursing filter has been turned off.  Not that I feel bad about cursing in general but its probably insensitive because Kris gave it up for lent.  Then she's gonna see me cursing and be like "that sounds like fun... I'm gonna start cursing now" and her whole lent will be ruined!  Except it wont because she just said she doesn't give up that easy.  She's a trooper. 

I'm just gonna stop typing now. 

Life is Hard

I had a conversation today with someone about Lent and what they were doing for it.  I won't go into specifics, but the gist of the conversation went like this:  "I would give something up, but it's too hard and I fail, so why bother trying?"

Why not try?  And if you fail, you try again.  If you keep failing, you keep trying until you can do it.  I mean, I know we're human and I know tenacity is difficult, but if it's something good, persevere instead of giving up!  I think we're too content not to try in the face of adversity, to give into comfort because it's easier.  This is a terrible position we've allowed ourselves to be in.  You fight the good fight, not because it's easy, but because it's right and good.  That might be taking Lent to an extreme, but I was deviating a bit and generalizing.

In response to this conversation, I suddenly remembered a really cool band I'd forgotten about and began to rock out to their music.

I'm just going to leave this here.

Updates and Sparkles

I had a totally awesome day today.  The only job I had to do was a sub job and when I got there, it turned out to be a paid full day job that I only had to stay a half day for.  The particular grade level I was teaching made it so teachers have team meetings all afternoon and a planning period.  When I asked the office if they needed me anywhere else, they told me no and to have a great day.  Well it was a great day!

I went to bother my sister and her coworkers at work, then I came home and cooked a tasty steak dinner for my sister.  I'll probably spend some time reading scripture before too long tonight, because I feel like reading some.  I probably should have done that before I started this post.

Which reminds me, it's been forever since I've done an update on lent:

Still fasting!

The cursing thing needs work, still working on that.  Cold turkey is awfully hard, but at least I'm more aware of the way I talk.

I have found myself much more outgoing towards others lately!  Even if I don't feel like being outgoing inside, I've been sucking it up and trying to work through those issues instead of laboring on in misery about them.  As such, I'm a much happier person!  I came to the realization (which is sort of a dumb one, because you'd think that would be obvious) that I could either make the conscious choice to be upset or happy and have been choosing to be happier.  This is difficult when I'm frustrated because I'm hungry, only eating very lightly for days on end, but I'm more relaxed and forgiving towards others.  It's not perfect, but it's a start!

I've also added a workout routine to what I've been doing, but that's not for Lent.  It's just something else to do.  I intend to be in better shape.  I'm not sure I'm seeing much in the way of results, but I also just started.  It will take time.  I'm totally hopeful!

He's already taken over

This blogging thing is getting harder.  I feel like last year, I was barely in it cause I posted from my phone all the time.  This year, I'm always super aware that people actually read this thing.  I always feel like I have to write about something good and worth while.  I know babies are always worth while.  And adorable.  But I didn't want this to become my sons blog.  He's just so cute that he takes over everything in my life.  You know that scene from family guy where the guy wants to show a stranger pictures of his kids and he just repeatedly slaps him in the face with the photographs?  I feel like that's what my blog is.  Just imagine that this picture is printed out on real paper and is hitting you in the face right now.  Or better yet, feel free to print it out and actually hit yourself in the face with it. 

*slap slap slap*

On Soapboxes and Chesterton

The topic I want to talk about today is one I don't think I should actually weigh in on.  I go back and forth on whether or not I want to use this area as a soapbox.  In many ways, I already am.  This is our little chunk of the internet to talk about what we want, whether it's something personally happening to us in our lives, or just things that we have thoughts about.  In other ways, I think some things are better off left in their own little corners of the internet, not touched with a 39 1/2 foot pole just to weed out the spammers and trolls.  It is my fervent desire that in this day and age we should be mature enough to have rational conversations regarding all manner of problems going on in our world.  But people really aren't like that; especially with hot button issues that create an immediate emotional reaction and considering how difficult it is to temper that reaction.

That being said, I think it's safer to talk about a book I've been reading on and off while I substitute teach-one of two.  Heretics by Chesterton was a difficult one for me to get into.  I feel like I should read Orthodoxy first, but I would probably be just as lost reading that one as I feel with his response to the response to Orthodoxy.  I feel like I'm listening in on a conversation that I'm not only hearing only one half of, but have little context for.  That's ok, though.  With a little research and a little time, I'll get that figured out.  The book in and of itself is still interesting.

There was a section I read yesterday which really got me thinking.  Chesterton posits that no one is asking "what is good" anymore, but instead we have given up on trying to determine what "good" is, as if we can never know.  That really blew my mind, more because I believe he's probably right than anything else.  It further boggled my mind trying to comprehend how we consider ourselves a progressive society, and yet have ceased to make progress where it really matters.  I need to think about this a little bit more before I run on a tangent of a rant, but it was something that got me thinking.

I'm just going to leave this here, too, because it made me smile and laugh:

"The human race, according to religion, fell once, and in falling gained knowledge of good and of evil. Now we have fallen a second time, and only the knowledge of evil remains to us." ~ G. K. Chesterton

Photo shoot

So I tried to do a photo shoot with Bishop today.  It failed miserably.  I wanted to take some cute naked baby pictures.  So I put a blanket down on the mattress in Bishops room so there would be a white floor and blue background.  There was also a sunbeam coming through the window which I thought would make it look better.  So I got him ready and almost immediately my phone froze.  So I had to wait for it to work again.  Then I realized the sunbeam did not work at all in the pictures.  And I could not get Bishop to sit still for one second.  He kept crawling away to find anything to get into.  Even when I was holding him down, he was squirming to get away.  Needless to say, I didn't really get any pictures.  This is the best one and its blurry. 

New Job?

I almost forgot to blog today, but I have a very good  reason why!  I spent all of my free time today working on getting an application filled out for a new job.  I literally just finished.  I don't think I'm going to get this job, but I sincerely hope I do.  It would be the same amount of work time with almost double my pay.  I could do that!  I could pay off my student loans in three years doing that, no problem.  So here's hoping.

The rest of my free time next week while all the schools are on spring break will like wise be spent filling out applications.  Something good's got to come up.  I just know it will!  I have this feeling that a good job's around the corner.  Lots of prayers and advice are welcome, please!

Baby Shower

Bishop got his first baby shower last night.  The getting clean kind, not the kind with presents.  But I did let him play with my margarita glass.  It's good too cause I managed to get a picture that is internet appropriate.  I mean, the ones with his penis hanging out are super cute, but I feel like he might be upset with me someday if he knows his baby penis is on the internet.  I'll just keep that shit in the baby book where it belongs to show to his future girlfriends. 

This is a good sink for baby washing.  It's deep and easy to sit up in.  The only issue was he kept reaching for the knobs so I had to distract him with the margarita cup.  Next time, we'll go back to bath time cause we have the sink plug now. 

It's not about Bishop, but he has a short cameo

After writing my post yesterday, I thought "that's a pretty good amount to write" and then I saw it from the computer web browser and realized how pathetically short it was.  That's the problem with phone posting.  It basically turns into a long text message because it takes longer to write each word.  Plus on the computer its easier to post pictures because I can format them correctly.  AND I don't have to look when I type.  I'm just that good.  Every time I look away while typing, it reminds me of Kris.  She used to look at me while we were having a conversation while continuing to type away on her computer.  That takes even more skill though because you have to think about two things at once. 

So anyone that is friends John on facebook already knows that our ice maker is still not hooked up and our washer doesn't work.  Hopefully the washer is an easy fix.  The lever that stops the washer when you open the lid came off.  But at least our internet is hooked up because, you know... priorities. 

It feels like we're camping now.  Or staying in a hotel.  All the stuff we need is somewhere but we have to hunt for it every time we need to do something.  Everything takes twice as long. 

Before I leave, here's a cute picture....

Change is Good

Today seems to be one of those days with a common theme.  I woke up to have something of a discussion with my sister regarding changing some things about myself, then drove to church thinking about what the balance is between being yourself and changing some things about yourself.  After that, I arrived at church to a homily about being changed by God.

I feel like that homily was sort of an answer to the things I was pondering on the way to church, actually.  I was considering how a one can be true to himself/herself while seeking to change in a meaningful way.  The answer:  you allow yourself to be changed by God.  I know I'm a different person than how I was before I became Catholic.  I can see the changes that have taken place, and most of them are for the better.  I don't know how much of that was my own directive and how much of that was God, but I find it an interesting idea to just allow myself to be changed and see where that goes.  It's a terribly frightening notion on the one hand, because we're so careful to guard ourselves from others who might seek to cause us harm.  But then, the idea isn't to allow other human beings to change me...which is probably what we do in general; receive feedback from others and alter ourselves slightly based off of that insight.

Moving accomplished

We are now officially moved in.  It doesn't feel very homey yet cause there's a minefield of boxes and furniture.  Bishop has already settled in and claimed everything.  Etta has come out from behind the dryer and is starting to get comfortable.  Now begins the fun part of turning this place into a home.  Hopefully it will be perfect by June and we can celebrate Bishops first birthday in style. 

Praise and Hope

I've been feeling like I'm on the verge of something good, but I haven't figured out what that is yet.  I'm not sure why I feel this way, but I do!  I have a feeling it will be something good too.  Here's hoping.

I've been having a lot on my mind like finding a good job or maybe trying to date again, what I should do with the rest of my life, and how I can find time to be more active with my church.  I don't really want to hope it will be something in one of these areas, because right now it's nice to have this feeling that there are a lot of possibilities open to me and it could be anything coming up.  I just have a really good feeling about something.  That can't be for nothing right?

Today and yesterday I had off of work, so I got to spend some time with awesome people yesterday and I get to spend some time with awesome people today.  Then I get to go to church!  It's a great weekend all around!  I'm so excited to actually have a weekend off!  I really needed this week to take a break from the craziness of the last month and a half where I've practically been working two jobs nonstop.  I'm feeling ready to get back in the game next week, but I'm so totally grateful that things worked out the way they did this week!

Packing break

Actually I thought I should write my post before we end up packing the laptop.  Plus I needed to sit down for a minute anyway.  I'd like to start packing my books upstairs but Bishop is napping.  I just realized he's been out for almost 2 hours so he'll be up any minute.  Maybe he'll wake up right as I finish writing.  Sometimes he's considerate like that.  Which brings me to my next point...

"oh hey... just helpin' myself to my stuff"

He has officially entered the cruising phase.  Climbing a stair is small potatoes; he wants to stand up now.  John and I were being lazy in bed and he was crawling around the floor this morning.  Then we look over at him and he's standing up holding onto the box.  He was on the brown box and then moved over to the diaper box. Then he gracefully dismounted without hurting himself at all.  I'm gonna have to make sure I baby proof at a higher level at the new house.  He is a curious little peanut! 

Illusive Muse

I find myself having a difficult time writing anything on the computer anymore.  When I substitute teach and all I'm doing is showing a movie or overseeing a class that already knows what it's doing, I have a lot of extra time to either read a book or write.  Since I don't carry my laptop with me, I typically have a small notebook to jot ideas down on.  I've been doing writing exercises during these days too.  For a long time, I had difficulty writing when I wasn't on a computer.  Now I can't concentrate being on the computer.

Not only that, but it seems my muse is fickle.  It only wants to give me ideas when my brain is otherwise preoccupied with mundane tasks.  Therefore, whenever I sit down to write, I can't think of anything worth writing down.  Whenever I'm doing something that I can't write, however, I have a plethora of ideas.

Actually, that just gave me inspiration.  Maybe I'll cut my losses and go write in a public venue today.  The distraction may be enough to get me to focus and write something quality.

And there you have it!  Muse in action!

This makes me happy

As Kris requested, this is what makes me happy.  This makes it easy to ignore whats going on in the world.  I'm pretty good at ignoring things that have little to do with me. 

We only have 2 days left to pack.  Luckily a lot of our stuff was never unpacked from our last move.  I found a half full box of my stuff and just added everything that was on top of my desk.  I did the same thing with the non-book stuff that was on my bookshelf upstairs.  Also, Bishops current toy box is a cardboard box so his toys are basically packed.  You can see it in between the couches in the picture. 

It might look like Bishop was trying to climb into his seat but he was really playing with the seat belt.  He loves seat belts and tags and pretty much anything paper.  He gets this look on his face while he's playing with that stuff like he's using all his available brain power to figure out what it is.  He's definitely a thinker. 

A Little Glum, but Only a Little

I feel like my posts have been rather on the down side the last week.  I guess I must be in a kind of slump.  I'm still looking for a new job and I've been double-shifting for the past six weeks to make some extra money so I can start paying off my student loans.  I'm also really worried about a lot of what's going on with the world:  Russia vs. the Ukraine is just one instance.  Japan vs. China, the stuff going on in Syria and the Middle East, uprisings across South America and Africa, Korean and Iranian instigation.  I wonder if we were just blind to most of these issues because of our lack of nation-wide communication, but now that we're more tied in, it seems closer to home.

Sometimes I wonder how a person's supposed to be content in a world riddled with strife, but then we always find joy somewhere, don't we?

I thought about attaching a picture of happiness with this post, but I think instead I'd rather let anyone who cares to read this take a moment and think about something that makes them happy.

Ready?  Go!

I Feel Like Goldielocks

I spent the last couple of days looking around at dresses.  All of a sudden, I feel the urge to look more feminine when I dress.  I made an awful discovery though.  There is almost nothing out there in any of the stores I can shop at that fits the criteria of being: 1) girly, 2) pretty and 3) modest.

Now this list seems pretty straight forward, but I'll break it down for what I was looking for specifically.  All I wanted was to look at sundresses.  I like the look of them, I like the pattern, and they're typically modest, more or less.  We're still getting snow in the middle of March, so a little bit of spring sounded nice to just look at.  I could find nothing.

I looked at dresses at thrift stores, I looked at dresses online, I even went into a few other stores to look at dresses; nothing.  What do I find instead?  1) Bath towels with spaghetti straps which barely cover from the top of boobs to the bottom of your butt, 2) what appears to be dual use dresses, so you can look like you're going to/coming from the gym when you go out or to the gym, 3) frumpy dresses that don't look modern at all but hey if you want to be modest you must be a prude right? 4) the right style of modest with the wrong material so it looks like you're wearing maternity clothes, but hey at least you're comfortable, 5) prom dresses.  There was literally nothing in the middle for 99% of the stores I went into.

I was delighted when I found one store, just one, that had what I was looking for.  Just one.  I think my sister's right when she suggests making our own clothing from now on.  I detest this apparent idea by manufacturers that the only way a girl can dress is like a slut, frumpy (because, prude), or to save money by having dual purpose attire.  If those are my three options, then I'd rather opt out.

uh-oh

So this is happening.  He never actually made it past the first step but he was trying sooooooooo hard.  Thank god we're moving.  There's only a couple stairs at our new house and they both have doors in front of them.  I'm still getting a baby gate though so I can keep him fenced in to the living room. 

So we officially have 3 days to pack.  I might have to post from my phone on Saturday cause I don't know when our internet will be hooked up.  Kris said I should write my post in advance and post it Saturday but I feel like that defeats the whole purpose of daily blogging.  It's about writing every day, not posting every day. 

Update on Lent Progress

I spent today in a constant state of near tears.  I don't know why, but I keep thinking about those kids who were offset in Syria.  I was imagining them walking miles without food, not knowing where they were going or whether they were going to be okay.  I think about them stuck in a foreign land, impoverished, struggling to get educated and to survive.  I'm starting to get a better idea of what it feels like to be hungry all the time.  At least I don't have to worry where my next meal will come from or if I'll be alright.  However, today I realized that anytime I eat food, it's not enjoyable.  Eating anything is starting to feel more like a chore.  I'm only eating light meals, so I'm never satisfied, and getting something on my stomach just makes me realize how hungry I still am.

On the other hand, I've started remembering scripture passages and prayers I never knew I had memorized/internalized.  It's kind of amazing.  Yesterday, I started thinking about some Psalms I don't recall ever memorizing, and today I was thinking about some passages from the New Testament.  I wish I could remember what they were now.  The down side to all of this is that my memory seems to be getting worse lately.  I wandered around in a circle at work today, trying to remember what I'd just started doing.  I'm not even really tired.  I've been sleeping well.  I'm going to have to re-evaluate the kinds of foods I've been eating and see if I can balance out a little better.  I barely remembered to post tonight!

What day is this?

I have zero energy today.  It's probably because I know there's a ton of stuff to do and my body is like "Ummm... no thanks, I'm just gonna shut down."  Therefore, this is just gonna be a rambling post with no real substance. 

I'm watching true life right now.  There seems to be a lot of episodes about people who use their phones excessively.  It makes me feel better about the amount of time I spend on my phone. 

Apparently Anne Rice is writing a new Lestat book.  I need to catch up.  I'm still on the one about Armand. 

Cutie

Someones sitting up all by himself!  He's got the balance down for staying up but he doesn't seem interested in doing it himself yet.  If I put him down sitting up, he'll stay in that position until he gets bored and crawls away.  He also seems to be at the very beginning stages of pulling himself up on things. 

I discovered today that he does not like edamame.  We ran out of jar food so I blended some edamame and he took a couple bites then started spitting it out.  So I gave up and fed him applesauce.  Now he's crawling under his highchair eating the cheerios he dropped on the floor earlier. 

I finished painting our bedroom today.  We finished Bishops room yesterday.  The office is gonna take a little longer because I'm doing shading in there.  I'll probably be working on it after we move in but John said it was okay cause his computer wont even be against the wall. 

Slowing Down

After the past month and a half of working double shifts, I finally decided to try take it easy this week.  I have more days off than usual at my main job, which makes it a little stressful for me to consider not taking sub jobs (especially when I enjoy subbing more than my main job).  However, after yesterday's homily at my church, I wanted to try to redirect some of my time towards other things.

Part of the reason for this is recognizing that with my pseudo-fasting for Lent, I don't have the energy I'm used to having.  The other part was realizing that I've been forgetting a LOT of things lately because I'm just so busy.  I also don't know that what I'm busy with are necessarily things that ought to occupy all of my time.  I wonder what I will discover by the end of this week.

Goals for this week:  read more scripture, pray more, try to be present in the moment, offer more thanks than petition during prayer.

Why Go to Church?

You don't really need to, right?

St. Meinrad's

 



I hadn't really been thinking about this today, but as I sat down to write my blog, it just sort of came to mind.  It all started with a conversation I had yesterday evening with someone who was very upset that her cousin was "being made" to go to church at the age of 15.  Her issue seemed to be that a 15 year old should be made to go to church at all when it wasn't necessary; after all, one can find God on their own.

This wasn't the entirety of that particular story, but it was enough to make reflect on where I would be if I chose to stop going to church.  My parents stopped taking us to church when I was very young because of disagreements about the message being taught.  We church hopped for a while, but never really settled into any particular one.  When I was going to be 13, I was forced to go back to church so that I could get confirmed in our church (as had practically everyone else in my family since we helped to rebuild the church centuries ago).  I'll be the first to admit my experience in that particular church wasn't good.  However, I wasn't actively trying to find God either.  I consider this point in my life the first time I really started to consider why I wasn't happy at the church we were attending, and the point where I finally started to research theology in earnest.

This is precisely why I don't think it's necessarily a bad to 'force' children to go to church.  That being said, I will acknowledge extenuating circumstances where particular situations may occur that bring about negative experiences associated with the church.  E.G. I really didn't ever plan to return to church after we left our church for the second time due to my own awful experiences and it wasn't until my senior year of high school that a friend of mine convinced me to go back.  At the age of 15, a person is capable of understanding and reasoning why they like or don't like a particular situation.  They are becoming abstract thinkers.  They are trying on different personalities/lifestyles to see which one fits.  If nothing else positive comes out of their experiences, they may just get a better understanding of the people who attend church or particular worship in particular denominations.

This is hardly the only reason why attending church is a good thing, however.  I can honestly say my faith would not have grown the way it has if not for my parish.  I am a very different person than I was a year ago and my desire to grow closer to God has only continued to increase.  I can't get enough of the homilies, I adore going to worship, and the extra things our church offers to supplement a Christian life really helps me to make the changes in my life that I need to be a follower of Christ.  On my own, I may have read scripture, may have prayed, may have had more discussion with different people from different denominations about their thoughts and ideas, but I don't believe I could have ever reached the depths I've started to delve.  I genuinely want to change my life, to become the person God wants me to be.  I don't know that many people could do this on their own.  If so, they're probably the exception to the rule.

A good church provides strength and stability, growth and compassion, forgiveness and hope.  I sincerely wish there were more good ones out there, or that people would give them more of a chance.  It's something to pray about at least.

Boys

Bishop is definitely a boy.  He likes to play with power cords because they're the only thing he can reach on the floor that he's not allowed to play with.  Earlier, I saw him crawling toward one and I said "No!" and went to grab him.  To him that meant "you have 3 seconds to reach that cord and play with it until mommy rains all over your fun times."  It's like a traffic light.  They say yellow means slow down but it really means drive as fast as you can to get through the light before it changes.  To Bishop, "No" means book it so you can at least touch the cord before mommy kills all the fun. 

He has also developed an annoying new way to tell me he's full.  He will continue to open his mouth and take the food off of the spoon, but once he has it, he blows raspberries and spits it everywhere.  Then I give him a few more bites just to make sure it wasn't an accident and he just continues making a mess.  Lucky for him, he's still too cute to be mad at.  Babies have all the power that way. 

Painting... with a baby

Today we were painting all day.  Sort of.  The first part of the day was mostly buying stuff for painting.  Then we had to tape all the edges in all three rooms.  And now I'm so tired that it seriously took me 5 minutes and 3 trips to dictionary.com to figure out how to spell "room".  The taping part went smoothly because Bishop was content to crawl around in whatever room I was working in.  However, when we got to the actual painting, I couldn't have him on the floor.  He was not happy about that.  Hopefully tomorrow goes better.  We got a pretty good chunk done today and we don't have to spend any time shopping tomorrow. 

Pictured: Progress

Pictured: Cranky Butt

RCIA

Remember last year, how I became Catholic by going through RCIA?  I'm doing RCIA again this year.  It seems like I can't get enough of it!

I've actually been helping out with this year's class and I adore it.  I just wish I had more time to devote to my church; working two jobs makes that very difficult to manage.  I've been enjoying the experience from the other side of things, though.  I'm still learning a lot about the Church and my faith, but I'm also getting new insight into the conversion process watching others go through it and hearing their stories.  I even get to sponsor someone this year, which makes Easter even more exciting!

I feel like I've taken the long road to getting there, but I know that this is where I'm meant to be and I couldn't be happier and more content!

Headache of Doom

So, I'm working on another project for a post.  I'll probably do it tomorrow.  It can be tomorrow's post.  Tonight I have the WORST HEADACHE OF DOOM EVER.  I don't mind that people wear perfume, but it's unpleasant when said perfume wrecks havoc on my brain.

Today was another double-shifting day.  I feel like I've had infinite patience the last two days dealing with the kids at the alt-ed school I sub at.  I know it can only come from God, because typically I don't have that much patience to put up with their shenanigans.  I learned something, though.  Being soft-spoken, insistent, and overly polite manages to get you somewhere with those kids most of the time.  Not all, but most.

Tomorrow will be a much better update, I swear.  I'm not off to a good start this season!

Day Three

I just wanted to share this picture from yesterday cause I think it's super cute.  I didn't want to post all the pictures I took yesterday cause there's like 20 of them but I realized this one is pretty awesome.  It's like he's standing in a picture frame. 

I love the layout of our house.  It's very entertainment friendly.  Also it has a built in tap dancing floor... but John said I can't tap dance on it.  At least I can still sock skate on it.  It's very slippery though; I'll probably end up on my butt.  It's okay, I'll have plenty of time to practice.  Then we'll have the sock-skate-lympics. 

Patience, John, Patience

I had spent today coming up with a blog post, but it seems I need to put some priorities in order.  I was on my way home to blog when I received a text from John demanding my explanation on why I hadn't posted.  Angela claims she had nothing to do with it, but I'm dubious (and totally just threw you both under the bus!).

I'm going to have to pass the torch to Angela this year in regards to early posting.  I now work 14 hour days between two jobs just to make ends meet.  I don't really want to go into all the details, but ultimately my life is rather chaotic at the moment.  So expect late night posting.  And in the meantime, bear with me!  I'll make sure to my daily blogs in!

Patience, John!

We bought a house!

We got our keys today!  Then we hung out on the floor for a couple hours.  Bishop got busy exploring...

Oh hey!  Just dusting your floors

And John got comfortable in the living room.

So we're gonna paint on Saturday and then a week later, we're moving in!  Then we'll clean this place up and be done with apartments forever. 

Ash Wednesday!

This year is my first Ash Wednesday as an official Catholic.  Last year, Ash Wednesday was one of my favorite services, but I was sad because I couldn't participate in mass proper.  This year, I was able, and it was pretty neat.  However, I think my favorite part about this year was helping serve soup instead of helping to make it.

Our Parish requires a day of fasting, but that just means you eat two light meals and you're done for the day.  It was nice to be able to serve people one of those two meals.  They were all really thankful to receive it!  I know I was really thankful to eat dinner tonight after going most of the day with only a light breakfast.  I'm glad that we weren't required to fast all day, though.  I remember fasting on Good Friday and how difficult that was!

In preparation this year, I was considering adding eating only two light meals a day to my Lent list.  I actually feel like I have more energy after doing this today, and even though I'm kind of hungry, I don't feel like it would be terrible to cut down the amount of food I eat.  Not to mention I can see how it would make me cook less portions, waste less, and lose weight, so all around good things!

This year, I feel like I'm in a much better place to give up more for Lent and to stick with it than I have been in the past, so I'm going to give this a try!

Lent list of give-ups/add-ons:

1. Daily Blog of course
2. Eating two light meals and supplement with one light snack/day
3. Stop swearing
4. Be more outgoing towards others, including praying more for others

That looks like good stuff.  Sorry about the weak first post.  I promise I have much more to talk about this year!  I just didn't want to blow all my material at once, despite my excitement!  Since today is Ash Wednesday, I'm going to stick to the subject.  Come back tomorrow for more things!

Day One: I'm probably gonna talk about my baby

Just get used to it.  Being a stay at home mom means you have very little else to talk about than the little person you hang with 12 hours a day.  He's like my bff that I'm required to hang out with all the time.  You know when you get tired of hanging out with your bff so you go home and then the next day you go hang out with them again cause you miss them?  That is now called nap time.  Bishop waking up from nap time is now my favorite time of day.  He's been asleep long enough that I start to miss his cute face and he wakes up happy because its only been a few hours since he ate so he just talks to himself in the crib.  Then I walk in and he smiles and talks to me!  The mornings are less enjoyable because he's hungry so he wakes up crying so I have to deal with a crying baby while I'm still waking up myself.  Therefore nap time is the best. 

Currently nap time has just started so I'm enjoying my alone time and not constantly checking the floor to see what Bishop is getting into.  He's very curious and mobile and while I have secured most of the hazards on the floor, there are a few cords I can't do anything with so naturally that is what he is most attracted to. 

Anyway, on to lent.  It is the first day of lent and I have decided that since I'm not pregnant this year, I can give up sweets again.  I thought about doing a day of fasting too cause I've never fasted and I wanna try it but I'm still nursing and I think that would be a bad idea. 

Lastly, how awesome was Kris's lent poster?  It looks pretty epic.  I feel like I have something to live up to now.  I hope my blogging is entertaining enough to warrant that awesome promotional material.  I guess if its not, Kris will pick up the slack. 

Coming this Lent...

The epic tail of two women and their lives continues.  You'll laugh.  You'll cry.  You'll read like you've never read before.  This year, it gets personal.  And then it gets personal again.