March 22, 2017

The Night Is Dark

For the last four days straight, I have been having nightmares.  I've been so exhausted and wanting to sleep so badly that I've been falling asleep before I remember to post.  It isn't unusual for me to have nightmares, really, but it is unusual for them to be so vivid and persistent.  I feel rather like my unconsciousness is unburdening me of every issue that I've been facing in my life ever, because that's what it feels like.

I see my subconscious thoughts as being something like a dammed lake.  It has been building up all these years, leaking out a little at a time to keep from overfilling.  But now, the floodgates are opened and there is a deluge of anxiety and worry pouring out.  I neither know how to stop it nor what was the cause.  The best I can do is simply hope that this next time around, I'll be too tired to even dream.  So far, this has not been the case.  If only I had this kind of issue when I wanted to remember my good dreams.  I can never have the awesome recurring good dreams that truly inspire.  Nope!  Gotta have the dark nightmares.  As if the night isn't full of terrors enough on its own.

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