I don't know why I keep coming back to this dark place inside of me lately, but it feels like I can't let it go right now. I am sitting in a brightly lit room and I feel like I'm sitting entirely in darkness. Staying in bed wrapped up in a blanket is preferable to getting up and doing something with my life. The world just feels darker. As if the light is being hidden behind a cloud. Or perhaps I'm only seeing things illuminated by the moon instead of the sun.
I know this is depression at work in my mind. It's like a veil over your face, but you can't remove it. The best you can do is lift it off of your face for a while, but it doesn't stay. You know it's coming back. The weird thing is that I don't even feel terribly depressed. I know I am, because I can tell the way I'm thinking and behaving is akin to when I fall into deep depression, and yet I don't feel depressed. It's like some kind of weird brain thing where I feel fine, but mentally I'm not in a good place. I keep wanting to peer into the darkness to see if I can find any sign of the light switch to turn on, but I'm afraid I might fall down the stairs and not be able to pick myself up. Depression is like the awful dank basement of the mind. And now all I can think of is decluttering my mind basement.