February 20, 2016

Fries Guys!

So as promised from yesterday, today's blog is about curly fries.  Most importantly, it's about why curly fries are the best fries and how Arby's has the best fries of any fast food place for being the one to offer them on their menu.  How can I definitively say that curly fries are the best fries you might ask?  I invite you to ruminate whilst I illuminate you to the facts.

I present to you evidence 1:  straws.  Everyone knows that bendy straws are superior to straight straws, as they allow for maximum consumption with ease of effort.  However, if presented with the choice between plain old regular straws, bendy straws, or crazy straws, EVERYONE loves crazy straws.  And what do crazy straws look like?  They are curly and loopy.  Ergo, curly straws are better than straight straws and bendy straws.  They are the best straws.

Enjoyable, but inferior

Much more crazy, much more awesome!
On to evidence 2:  roller coasters.  There are a few kinds of roller coasters that you might find yourself able to ride.  Some just go around on a regular track and while it's entertaining and enjoyable, everyone knows that the best rides are the ones that have loops.  Loops are curly.  Ergo curly roller coasters are better than straight-tracked roller coasters.

Okay, yeah, we all rode one of these, nostalgic and fun for kids
Hell yes!

I submit evidence 3:  games.  There are many games that are well known and enjoyable to play, but what's the stereotypical game that's practically always referenced in television shows?  Twister.  Twister makes you twist around to win the game, and being twisted is a kind of curly.


You know what, this one may have gotten away from me a bit here.  Also, what the hell is going on with that box cover?  Is that guy pointing out how uncomfortable this is?  I hope this isn't an actual family.

On to evidence 4:  movies.  Everyone likes movies and everyone knows the best movies are the ones that end in a twist.

Did you think I was going to talk about Twister?  WHAT A TWIST!

In conclusion, twisty things are like curly things which qualifies them to be counted as part of the twisty/curly argument.  People prefer curly things to regular things.  Ergo, curly fries are the best fries, and Arby's-being the leading supplier for all our curly needs-has the best fries.  I mean, I know they offer regular fries too, but if you're going to Arby's and you don't order curly fries, I just want to know why the hell you're bothering to go to Arby's at all.

Today's prayer is for the church.

1 comment:

  1. I disagree with curly straws. Those things are hard to drink from.