May 19, 2012

WT: The Stress Monster

You may be wondering why Kris has been carrying this blog single handedly for the past few weeks.  The answer just so happens to be the topic of this weeks weekly topic: stress.  Stress is why I neglected to post by thoughts on cinco de mayo and why I asked Kris to skip last weeks posting cause I didn't want to spare 5 minutes to come up with some bullshit CAUSE I WORK AT HIGHER QUALITY THAN THAT!  At least I like to think I do.  But now I'm finished with school for an entire summer so the blog can go back to business as usual.  Actually, I'll probably be posting more often cause I have all this extra time now.  Meanwhile, Kris is still working her ass off and somehow managing to keep up with weekly topic AND making extra posts when I was MIA.  She must be some kind of super human.

So, for this post, I thought I'd walk you through my typical paper writing process.  Here is a step by step of practically every paper I've ever written. 

1. Initial encounter of assigned paper (for this example, lets say 15 pages) in syllabus. 

2. "I have 3 whole months to do this!"

3. Forget about paper

4. Half way through semester, remember I have a paper

5. "I should pick a topic"

6. Think about picking a topic for 5 minutes

7. Forget about paper

8. 4 weeks left in class, remember paper

9. "Oh shit!  Only 4 weeks left! I need to do some research!"

10. Pick paper topic

11. Put off research till 3 weeks left

12. Pick up 5 books from the library

13. Find 4 articles on Ebsco host

14. Put off reading until 2 weeks left

15. Read a few chapters

16. Make a super vague outline

17. Feel huge sense of accomplishment, take a few days off

18. "Oh shit! I only have 10 days to finish this!"

19. Panic

20. Decide to write 2 pages a day until its finished

21. End up spending 7 days reading and get 1 page written

22. Panic!

23. Write 3 pages

24. Panic!!!

25. 2 days left, write 5 pages


26. 1 days left, write 4 pages

27. Feel relieved that I only have 3 pages left. 

28. Next morning, wake up early

29. "Shit I need to finish this by 4 o'clock!"

30. Get mad at myself for not finishing sooner

31. Find the courage to finish paper

32. Turn it in

33. Life suddenly has new meaning and feels beautiful

34. 1 week later, write blog about it, get PTSD

And that is my process.  For smaller papers, its similar but toned down depending on the size of the paper.  If the assignment has anything to do with writing fiction or telling a story (which is NEVER), I actually enjoy doing it and none of this applies. 

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