July 24, 2017

This does not define you

As a few people who are very close to me know, I have not been the happiest person lately.  I won't say its a funk.  It's a little more than a funk.  But I am taking steps to move forward.  Step one will be to talk to my doctor to rule out any medical issues which I don't think would be entirely to blame but may be aggravating the problem.  Step two is forcing myself to do something that I enjoy.  I really enjoy writing.  It's definitely a part of who I am and I definitely don't do it often enough.  So I decided I am going to write every weekday for a month.  It seems appropriate that I'm starting on the 24th because that is my lucky number.  Hopefully writing on a regular basis will help bring back a part of me that I feel like I'm missing.  Step three will hopefully be to feel inspired and informed enough to step into a career.  I don't know what career because I didn't really plan well for one but I'm hoping the answer will become apart when the time is right. 

Also as anyone close to me knows, I have been obsessively watching Moana since it came out on Netflix.  It's my new favorite movie.  The songs are catchy, the story is inspiring, and the graphics are beautiful.  It occurred to me on my 8th? 9th? viewing of the movie that the ending scene with Te Fiti is the perfect metaphor for mental health.  Te Ka is raging and out of of control and Moana says "They have stolen the heart from inside you, but this does not define you" and then Te Ka calms down enough to accept help from Moana and allows her to put her heart back and she becomes Te Fiti again.  She couldn't do it herself.  She couldn't just be inspired and will herself into becoming Te Fiti again.  She had to calm down and accept help.  That image really helped me.  If I just calm down and let other people into my head, then things will get better and maybe I can be myself again.  I already know I'm surrounded by amazingly supportive people, John being my number one, I just need to let them help me. 

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