I had another one of those days where it seemed like the church sermon was lining up with things I'd been thinking about this week. I wonder if I'm just really on board with the direction Mass is taking now or if my life is just lining up happily like that to mess with me.
I spent this afternoon reading some scripture and had an epiphany. The same text that a bunch of ministers were using on me as a reason why Catholicism was preaching a false religion is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT when in the proper context. I have a bunch of great resources which all help me to contextualize scripture now as opposed to when I was 19 and just starting off learning about theology and philosophy and at the mercy of those who were teaching me. Wow. Also, I think with some hind sight and when I started thinking about it, it was kind of ridiculous to take on the belief that particular parts of scripture are speaking out against an institution that wasn't technically in existence, even if the framework was being built. Just saying.
All in all, it was a pretty awesome day! I'm looking forward to next week when I get to talk about and lead RCIA in the Rosary. Grandma J. taught me about how to do it and it's something special I've always loved her for.
Showing posts with label religion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label religion. Show all posts
March 23, 2014
February 13, 2013
Gettin' Down and Dirty
The time of Lent has come upon us again.
This year, as with last year, the only agreement that Angela and I have made is that "We are definitely doing a Lent blog" and "both of us had better contribute". This leaves me pretty much in the same place that I was last year: struggling to come up with an idea to write about for every day of the week, and in the middle of an endless supply of school work and real life obligations. Last year, I chose to write a weekly piece about things that began with every letter of "LENT". This year, I don't think I have the time to do that, and here's why.
As an added bonus to getting my teaching certification and my Master's degree, I've also decided to join RCIA and become Catholic.
I know. I must be crazy. With numerous other obligations and responsibilities, adding one more thing into this mix just seems insane. But with five more weeks to go or so until I'm confirmed Catholic, I can say I don't regret doing this now. The time just seems right. So, I started thinking about what I could do for a Lent blog this year, with time constraints, and homework, and lesson planning and all that lovely stuff that goes along with getting a degree and becoming a certified instructor, the only thing I can think to write about which would be managable is my experience going through RCIA, culminating in Lent, my first confession, first communion, and eventually confirmation. Last year, I avoided the topic of religion and politics as much as possible and wrote many a blog of how lame I was for having too much homework to write a blog, littered with appologies, and a sense that what I was doing wasn't really achieving anything or really in the spirit of a "Lent blog". This year, I choose to write about my experiences in my new chosen faith.
You are warned, reader.
Ash Wednesday:
I've participated in Ash Wednesday services before, but never at a Catholic church. I really didn't know what to expect. Essentially, it was the same as mass except we went up to the altar twice instead of once. Well, most people went up twice instead of once. I chose to stay back during the Eucharist because there were a lot of people and I don't think I can take it yet anyway. I had sort of an epiphany today, actually. The entire service is about recognizing our condition as sinners and the need for a savior, the ashes reminding us of our imperfect nature.
When I was growing up in a Protestant church, I pretty much always felt alone with my sins. I mean, the message doesn't really change about trying not to sin, but there's like this whole unspoken-ness about sins and sinning (at least in the church I grew up in, but I've heard similar things with other people I've talked to who are also Protestant). I want to focus on my own experience here, because I certainly don't believe that all churches are like this, or that only Catholic churches are free of what I've gone through growing up. But I digress. So my experience from my youth: sinning is a private matter between you and God; if you screw up, you pray about it and do better in the future. Feel guilty about it? Just keep preying. Sure, you could talk to someone about it, but there's a pretty good chance it's going to end up all over the church if you do, so just be prepared for that.
I feel like I've grown up with this skewed idea of sinners and sins from my upbringing. I personally have low self-esteem anyway, and I find I always put everyone else on this pedestal. I constantly struggle with guilt, feelings of inadequacy, more guilt, and a fear of letting others see me as anything less than a morally upright young woman who never makes mistakes because God forbid that happen. But today, as I'm sitting in a service reminding us that we're all sinners and inviting the entire congregation to come up and put ashes on their foreheads in acceptance of this fact, my mind was completely blown. For the first time in all the years of my life going to church, I no longer feel inadequate, or worried that anyone else is going to find out I'm a sinner. It's as if being a part of this experience, this acceptance of sin, this resolve to try to follow Christ and live a more righteous life has freed me from my old insecurities and perhaps to a degree, self-denial. I also feel like I've taken the first steps towards trying to be less judgmental, we'll see how that goes. One can only hope.
It's actually kind of remarkable how a little smudge on your forehead can really change you.
~Kritz
This year, as with last year, the only agreement that Angela and I have made is that "We are definitely doing a Lent blog" and "both of us had better contribute". This leaves me pretty much in the same place that I was last year: struggling to come up with an idea to write about for every day of the week, and in the middle of an endless supply of school work and real life obligations. Last year, I chose to write a weekly piece about things that began with every letter of "LENT". This year, I don't think I have the time to do that, and here's why.
As an added bonus to getting my teaching certification and my Master's degree, I've also decided to join RCIA and become Catholic.
I know. I must be crazy. With numerous other obligations and responsibilities, adding one more thing into this mix just seems insane. But with five more weeks to go or so until I'm confirmed Catholic, I can say I don't regret doing this now. The time just seems right. So, I started thinking about what I could do for a Lent blog this year, with time constraints, and homework, and lesson planning and all that lovely stuff that goes along with getting a degree and becoming a certified instructor, the only thing I can think to write about which would be managable is my experience going through RCIA, culminating in Lent, my first confession, first communion, and eventually confirmation. Last year, I avoided the topic of religion and politics as much as possible and wrote many a blog of how lame I was for having too much homework to write a blog, littered with appologies, and a sense that what I was doing wasn't really achieving anything or really in the spirit of a "Lent blog". This year, I choose to write about my experiences in my new chosen faith.
You are warned, reader.
Ash Wednesday:
I've participated in Ash Wednesday services before, but never at a Catholic church. I really didn't know what to expect. Essentially, it was the same as mass except we went up to the altar twice instead of once. Well, most people went up twice instead of once. I chose to stay back during the Eucharist because there were a lot of people and I don't think I can take it yet anyway. I had sort of an epiphany today, actually. The entire service is about recognizing our condition as sinners and the need for a savior, the ashes reminding us of our imperfect nature.
When I was growing up in a Protestant church, I pretty much always felt alone with my sins. I mean, the message doesn't really change about trying not to sin, but there's like this whole unspoken-ness about sins and sinning (at least in the church I grew up in, but I've heard similar things with other people I've talked to who are also Protestant). I want to focus on my own experience here, because I certainly don't believe that all churches are like this, or that only Catholic churches are free of what I've gone through growing up. But I digress. So my experience from my youth: sinning is a private matter between you and God; if you screw up, you pray about it and do better in the future. Feel guilty about it? Just keep preying. Sure, you could talk to someone about it, but there's a pretty good chance it's going to end up all over the church if you do, so just be prepared for that.
I feel like I've grown up with this skewed idea of sinners and sins from my upbringing. I personally have low self-esteem anyway, and I find I always put everyone else on this pedestal. I constantly struggle with guilt, feelings of inadequacy, more guilt, and a fear of letting others see me as anything less than a morally upright young woman who never makes mistakes because God forbid that happen. But today, as I'm sitting in a service reminding us that we're all sinners and inviting the entire congregation to come up and put ashes on their foreheads in acceptance of this fact, my mind was completely blown. For the first time in all the years of my life going to church, I no longer feel inadequate, or worried that anyone else is going to find out I'm a sinner. It's as if being a part of this experience, this acceptance of sin, this resolve to try to follow Christ and live a more righteous life has freed me from my old insecurities and perhaps to a degree, self-denial. I also feel like I've taken the first steps towards trying to be less judgmental, we'll see how that goes. One can only hope.
It's actually kind of remarkable how a little smudge on your forehead can really change you.
~Kritz
April 21, 2012
WT: Adventure
This week Kris decided that we should blog about adventure. This is how this particular post is gonna go down: I'm gonna start out describing some half ass adventure I had this week and then try and loosely connect it to some reading I did today and some crazy idea I came up with. So, by the time this post is concluded, I will have completely diverged from the topic of adventure.
First point of business: Kris told me to have an adventure this week. I didn't really plan on actually doing it because I have lots of homework to do so I figured I'd just dredge up some old story about times past and try to draw some new insight into what happened. However, without even realizing it, I actually did go on an adventure and forgot that I was fulfilling the assignment until Kris mentioned that she neglected to go on hers (suck it).
Adventure of course can be loosely defined so I consider anytime I exit the apartment for any length of time without the car to be an adventure. Of course adventure can also include an automobile but you have to do something extra special with them to be considered an adventure like go on a road trip or drive around with no destination.
This particular adventure was simply a walk in the neighborhood which I initiated because John and I neglected going to the gym that morning. We ended up walking close to 3 miles though so our walk more than made up for lost exercise. We delivered a letter to the post office and then settled down at wienerschnitzel for some ice cream. At least that was the plan. Actually, I ate ice cream and John had hot dogs. Super exciting, I know; it gets better. After our stop at hot dog heaven (insert some sarcastic intonation) we headed over to dimple records to look for movies about communism because SOMEHOW John convinced his professor to let him write a 10 page paper about movies. Then we went home and showered because its pretty hot outside. There was a nice breeze though so we were pretty comfortable the majority of the time.
Anyway, to loosely connect this to academia, reading books is kind of like an adventure in that it takes you places and causes you to think about things you would not otherwise go/think about. I am well aware that that last sentence was a disaster. I'm actually impressed with the speed at which this post is coming along. Usually I demand complete perfection before I continue on to my next thought but for some reason, I feel like just letting it slide.
Anywhozers (again), I'm reading The Late Great Planet Earth by Hal Lindsey and let me tell you, this guy thinks he's God's gift to Christianity (seriously). He tells us a bunch of stuff that some guys came up with in the 19th century and he pretends like its been in the Bible the whole time. Also he basically calls Jews idiots... and pretty much anyone else who has the audacity to suggest the Bible is not literal. In fact everyone is an idiot who does not understand the Bible and biblical prophesy EXACTLY the way he does. And we wonder why.... never mind that's really not the point.
For SOME REASON while I was reading this psycho babble about how Philosophy of Religion is secretly witchcraft, I thought of this weird idea (that I swear I've had before... or maybe I heard it somewhere else and am just taking credit for it). What if every person in the whole world is actually the same person? I don't mean like the whole Buddhist "we are one" theory (although that could tie in nicely) I mean like what if one person was reincarnated after they die into someone else and this process just kept happening until that person lived the life of every single person in human history? Think about what that would mean. Essentially we would be fighting and disagreeing with ourselves.
Someone's probably gonna read this and be like "there's already a whole religious system built around that concept" and then sue me for copyright infringement. Either that or I just started a new religion. Not that I believe it. But then, who really believes in the religions they start? I have a hard time believing that L Ron Hubbard really believes in Scientology. By 'hard time' I really mean 'not at all'.
Did you see? I'm not even talking about adventure anymore. I have come to the end of my own prophetic statement at the beginning of the post. It's easy to prophesy your own actions. I have about 90% accuracy rate. I think this post is a record for me. I hope no one got bored.
First point of business: Kris told me to have an adventure this week. I didn't really plan on actually doing it because I have lots of homework to do so I figured I'd just dredge up some old story about times past and try to draw some new insight into what happened. However, without even realizing it, I actually did go on an adventure and forgot that I was fulfilling the assignment until Kris mentioned that she neglected to go on hers (suck it).
Adventure of course can be loosely defined so I consider anytime I exit the apartment for any length of time without the car to be an adventure. Of course adventure can also include an automobile but you have to do something extra special with them to be considered an adventure like go on a road trip or drive around with no destination.
This particular adventure was simply a walk in the neighborhood which I initiated because John and I neglected going to the gym that morning. We ended up walking close to 3 miles though so our walk more than made up for lost exercise. We delivered a letter to the post office and then settled down at wienerschnitzel for some ice cream. At least that was the plan. Actually, I ate ice cream and John had hot dogs. Super exciting, I know; it gets better. After our stop at hot dog heaven (insert some sarcastic intonation) we headed over to dimple records to look for movies about communism because SOMEHOW John convinced his professor to let him write a 10 page paper about movies. Then we went home and showered because its pretty hot outside. There was a nice breeze though so we were pretty comfortable the majority of the time.
Anyway, to loosely connect this to academia, reading books is kind of like an adventure in that it takes you places and causes you to think about things you would not otherwise go/think about. I am well aware that that last sentence was a disaster. I'm actually impressed with the speed at which this post is coming along. Usually I demand complete perfection before I continue on to my next thought but for some reason, I feel like just letting it slide.
Anywhozers (again), I'm reading The Late Great Planet Earth by Hal Lindsey and let me tell you, this guy thinks he's God's gift to Christianity (seriously). He tells us a bunch of stuff that some guys came up with in the 19th century and he pretends like its been in the Bible the whole time. Also he basically calls Jews idiots... and pretty much anyone else who has the audacity to suggest the Bible is not literal. In fact everyone is an idiot who does not understand the Bible and biblical prophesy EXACTLY the way he does. And we wonder why.... never mind that's really not the point.
For SOME REASON while I was reading this psycho babble about how Philosophy of Religion is secretly witchcraft, I thought of this weird idea (that I swear I've had before... or maybe I heard it somewhere else and am just taking credit for it). What if every person in the whole world is actually the same person? I don't mean like the whole Buddhist "we are one" theory (although that could tie in nicely) I mean like what if one person was reincarnated after they die into someone else and this process just kept happening until that person lived the life of every single person in human history? Think about what that would mean. Essentially we would be fighting and disagreeing with ourselves.
Someone's probably gonna read this and be like "there's already a whole religious system built around that concept" and then sue me for copyright infringement. Either that or I just started a new religion. Not that I believe it. But then, who really believes in the religions they start? I have a hard time believing that L Ron Hubbard really believes in Scientology. By 'hard time' I really mean 'not at all'.
Did you see? I'm not even talking about adventure anymore. I have come to the end of my own prophetic statement at the beginning of the post. It's easy to prophesy your own actions. I have about 90% accuracy rate. I think this post is a record for me. I hope no one got bored.
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