I've been thinking about how I communicate lately. I feel like my default style is all business. Like someone initiates a conversation with me and my brain goes "okay, what information do they want and what is the quickest possible way I can give it to them?" I noticed it more since texting became my main form of communication because it leaves less room for improvisation. If I want to have a friendlier conversation, I have to force myself to go past the mechanics and say something that's not transaction based.
The better I know someone, the less I do it but it can be hard to get over that threshold. I'm tempted to say "I wish I was different" but I really don't. If I change one thing about myself, my whole personality would probably be different. And if I didn't struggle with this one thing, I would probably struggle with other things. Like talking too much and accidentally saying something embarrassing. I've been told by my extrovert friends/ spouse that this is a common problem. So instead of wishing I was different, I try to learn from those who are. That's why I married an extrovert. He does not over think what he wants to say to people. I've gotten a little better of doing that in person but it's hard to not go straight to the point in texts.
I guess I could solve that by talking to people on the phone but calling someone on the phone is a literal nightmare. If I have to call someone on the phone, I spend at least 10 minutes stressing out before I hit the call button. And then I survive and feel stupid when it's over. But that doesn't stop me from freaking out every time. Brains are weird.
The better I know someone, the less I do it but it can be hard to get over that threshold. I'm tempted to say "I wish I was different" but I really don't. If I change one thing about myself, my whole personality would probably be different. And if I didn't struggle with this one thing, I would probably struggle with other things. Like talking too much and accidentally saying something embarrassing. I've been told by my extrovert friends/ spouse that this is a common problem. So instead of wishing I was different, I try to learn from those who are. That's why I married an extrovert. He does not over think what he wants to say to people. I've gotten a little better of doing that in person but it's hard to not go straight to the point in texts.
I guess I could solve that by talking to people on the phone but calling someone on the phone is a literal nightmare. If I have to call someone on the phone, I spend at least 10 minutes stressing out before I hit the call button. And then I survive and feel stupid when it's over. But that doesn't stop me from freaking out every time. Brains are weird.
No comments:
Post a Comment