Faking it

On Tuesday I sat down to write my blog (like a consistent person who has their shit together) but then my brain was completely hijacked by financial issues.  Don't worry, we're fine.  We're just planning an expensive vacation.  I just get really uncomfortable spending large amounts of money and it pushed my brain away from writing.  That is why I'm writing BEFORE I pay bills.  That way I can get the creative stuff out of my brain before the numbers kill all of it! 

Marshall is trying to drag me away to look at glow-in-the-dark dinosaur fossils.  We've had this book since before he was born but he's acting like it's completely new to me.  It's like that scene in Parks and Rec when Andy gets 1,000 one dollar bills from the bank and asks the teller if she's ever seen so much money.  Her response is "yeah... I just handed it to you."  I think about that scene every day.  My kids are often acting like I should be super impressed with things I just gave them.  It's a good thing kids don't understand sarcasm because I'm pretty sure most of excitement sounds super sarcastic.  I mean I'm not being a dick on purpose but faking emotions isn't easy. 

Alright, I need to go kill my brain with some numbers. 

Healing Music

I totally forgot to post on Tuesday.  I wanted to go pick up my piggy bank that I painted and then Marshall and I ended up having lunch in the shopping center.  Then when I got home, my brain was preoccupied with what I was going to cook for dinner because I decided I was going to cook every Tuesday.  John is our family chef because he loves cooking but he needs a day off.  So instead of waiting for him to tell me when he needs a break, I decided to pick a night to cook because I'm not great at spur of the moment tasks.  I need time to prepare and know what I'm doing.  We had nachos.  They were tasty. 

Last week I talked about some very emotional stuff.  Today I want to share some of the music that helped me through some of that struggle.  Music is very healing and has a way of calming my soul like nothing else can. 

The first song is by the Avett Brothers called "No Hard Feelings".  It's all about wondering what might happen when we die.  The song is just a big question with no answers but is very calm and peaceful.  It reminds me that we all have these questions and we all wonder but it doesn't have to be upsetting.  It helps me to live calmly with the question.  Here is a video of the song from a movie about the Avett Brothers "May It Last". 

 

 The second song is called "Deep Water" by American Authors.  This song is more about personal struggle and it really speaks to how I process turbulence in my life.  The song talks about how "it comes and goes in waves.  It always rolls back but it's never quite the same".  Every struggle turns my life upside down in some way and when it's over, things return to normal but I'm changed.  Sometimes I feel worse and most of the time I feel better.  It's a reminder that the struggle is part of the happiness.  I know I wouldn't be happy without my struggle.  It has led me to the most interesting parts of my life.  Here's the audio for "Deep Water".  

 

So those are my songs and that's it for this week.  Hopefully I won't forget to post next week.  But if I do, I'll keep Thursday as my back up day.