Poor blog

I just logged in to check on our blog before lent starts.  I noticed that my last post says it will be the last one of the year.... and it was.  I was being sarcastic and unfortunately, it came true.  And as if that wasn't insulting enough to our already neglected blog, I have a baby due in the middle of lent.  So... I'm probably gonna excuse myself from writing for a bit.  I'll try to keep up but my priorities will be elsewhere. 

Bishop waiting for his little brother

This is Bishop now.  He's taller and has more hair.  And he's obsessed with basically everything his dad is obsessed with: super heroes, star wars, nerf guns, stuff with wheels, stuff that flies... cell phones.... cooking shows.  He's gonna make a great big brother. 

Sold

From the seclusion of my oasis, I used to watch the cars drive by on the main road.  Often they appeared as an endless stream of passersby, racing to get wherever they were going.  I wondered if they ever even bothered to look down the gravel road and wonder, "Who lives there?"  Now I know how completely oblivious they were and are.

The sign was like a knife twisting in my heart when I first saw it.  In my entire life, I never dreamed it would be there.  Growing up, I knew that no matter what happened, my oasis at the end of the gravel road would always be there waiting for me.  More than anywhere I have ever lived, I called this place my home, my joy, my source of adventure, and later my font of inspiration.

Those cars with the drivers that had so carelessly driven past a hundred times before, flooded my oasis, directed there by that sign.  I watched as the vultures swooped in to pick the carcass of my childhood clean.  Dutifully, I joined them, hoping to devour some scrap that would restore the magic of my oasis to what it had been before.  Deep down, I knew there was nothing there that could do this for me.  Yet I was swept up in a whirlwind of activity and my heart told me to react or lose.  One by one, the treasures of my childhood were stripped away.  They came, they took, and they walked away, indifferent as they had ever been.  Those things which I thought had been most important when growing up, I discovered to be easily replaced or overlooked; those things which had been a comfort, now struck out like a brood of vipers.

The emptiness of my oasis became a well of bitter waters from which I had no choice but to draw from.  Each time I went there, I had to confront that nebulous future loss and the reminder that my dream was in ruins.  Each trip down the gravel road became ever increasingly more difficult, each journey with the oblivious crowd on the main thoroughfare became a small comfort, until I found myself a member of that endless stream of travelers passing by.

I don't remember how it happened exactly, but one day as I was driving by my oasis, I realized the knife twisting in my heart didn't have to be a traitor's strike.  If I lay down my dream by my own volition, it would be my sacrifice and it could no longer be stripped away.  How powerful that moment to lay my own hand upon that knife; how much more powerful to find it impossible to bring harm!

A new spring has risen within me, releasing me of my grief, and causing my well to overflow with sweeter, life giving waters instead.  They quench my thirst and give me strength for my new journey.  I realize now that it had to be my choice to travel new roads.  I do so with wonder, carrying that sense of adventure from my childhood with me in my heart.

Easter!

Easter's Today!

I read an article this morning about how "nothing" happens on the Saturday before Easter and that it is a time for watching and waiting.  I never really thought about it until today that two years ago, I fell into the category of people who think "nothing" happens today.  It's almost amusing now, considering I spent the entire day preparing people to join the Church at the Vigil Mass.  All across the world, people are being inducted into the Catholic Church tonight.  They're being baptized, they're taking their first communion, and they're being confirmed.  It's true that Saturday is a "vigil" which means that we are watching and waiting for Christ to rise.  However, we also believe that he is risen, and initiate our candidates and catechumen on the eve when Jesus triumphantly conquered death.  The candidates bring the light of Christ into the Church, the catechumen remind us of our baptismal vows and we are asked to renew them with them, and as they're all confirmed we are likewise reminded that we are sealed in the sacrament.

Happy Easter.  Christ is Risen.

Easter's tomorrow!

Welcome to my last blog of the year.  I'd like to make grand promises that I'll definitely blog every week from now on but who are we kidding?  We all know I severely neglect this blog after lent.  Maybe I can change.  Or maybe Kris can pester me until I write again.  Only time will tell. 

I need to end this year on an adorable note. 

Extra Large Adorable Note

In my next blog post, he'll be approaching 3.  As of now, there's only 3 months until he's 2!  Next year I'll be able to talk about all the cute things he says.  He says lots of cute things now but they're not words so I can't really convey them here. 

Anyway, Happy Easter tomorrow!  We're gonna go to church and then have an egg hunt at Grandmas house! 

Meta

I've been doing a lot of re-evaluation of everything that I've been doing during Lent and I think I've changed my mind.  I've done a lot of growing but in different ways than I had last year.  That doesn't necessarily mean I've "failed" at Lent, but only that I wasn't more focused on recapturing what I encountered last year and ended up almost missing a lot of the growth I've gone through this year instead.  The weird thing is that it took watching the movie The Edge of Tomorrow in order for me to come to that realization.

Changing gears a little, I was really enjoying The Edge of Tomorrow until the ending.  What is about directors botching the endings of movies?  There are so many things left unanswered at the end of this movie, which is really disappointing.  I sometimes wish Hollywood would forget about going for the feel good ending and actually wrap stuff up.  Imagine what would happen if I just ended a post.

2 more days

Only 2 days until Easter!  Which means I can eat chocolate!  I think chocolate misses me.  It keeps calling to me from the television.  Or maybe it's just trying to take advantage of me.  It wants all of my money.  I don't care, I love it anyway. 

I've been painting on our wall.  I traced the tree sticker that I put up and then tore it down and now I'm painting it in.  I finished the tree parts today.  Now I just have to do the leaves and doves.  Plus I put parts of the sticker up above the fireplace so I still need to trace and paint that one as well.  I'm not gonna stop until our entire house looks like a forest. 

Maundy Thursday Musings

Today I got to go collect the oils for our parish from the Cathedral.  It was a really neat ceremony.  The priests in our diocese were all present to renew their vows and I got to attend a mass where the Bishop was doing the consecration of the Eucharist.  At the end of the ceremony, I got to walk up to where the Bishop sat and he handed me the oils that we use for baptisms, confirmation, and healing of the sick.

I really enjoyed being able to do this ceremony today.  I've been a little down the last couple of days because they signed off on the paperwork to sell our farm on Tuesday.  I still can't believe that it's gone.  I guess this is a new chapter in my life.  I had kind of always thought it would be there, always be ours.  Now I have no idea what the new owner's going to do with it.  It's kind of troubling because someone from our family built that house and the buildings when they first bought the property.  I don't know how many people can say that they've lived in one place for as many generations anymore.  It kind of made it special.

Tomorrow is the last day of Lent, a fast day.  It's been kind of a rough Lent for me, but I've had some good experiences over all as well.  I'm ready for this, though; ready to move forward with the liturgical year and start preparing for RCIA next year.

Garden Success!

My squash is blooming!  We're going to have delicious fresh squash soon!  I don't know what kind though.  There's 6 different plants and I didn't really keep track of which one went where.  One of them died though.  Maybe it'll come back. 

Blooms!

Bishop has a new favorite place to play.  It's in the window.  The windowsill is his toy shelf. 

 

It's a good thing he has those chairs to make him taller.  I just hope he doesn't use them next to the TV so he can reach all the buttons on the blu-ray player.  Or next to the baby gate so he can climb over.  He hasn't really shown any interest in climbing over that type of stuff.  I feel like he could get out of his crib if he really wanted but he's never tried.  He is scared of heights. 

An Open Letter to Dog

Dear Dog,

You are a stalwart companion, but I really need you to please stop chewing on your paw.  There are many reasons why this needs to stop, but the biggest reason is because I don't want to have to take you to the vet.  I will take you if you need to go of course, but I really don't want to have to explain to another person that my dog isn't smart enough not to eat herself.  Please be smarter.

Also, why is it that you only want to eat out of the supper toy when it's just you and me, but you don't want it at all when I'm trying to show someone else how much you enjoy playing with it?  You are a fickle beast.  Although you are a good companion.  Please try to curb the chewing on yourself, though.  I really don't like seeing you hurt.

Sincerely,
Dearest Human

Bills day

I hate Comcast.  I just wanna get that out right now cause it'll make me feel better.  They raised our bill so John called and got it lowered but since we didn't do it 2 days earlier, we still had to pay an extra $30 this month.  Cause they're jerks. 

Also Amazon had an April fools day thing on their website where the page looked like it did 10 years ago.  It's not really funny when I'm trying to pay my bills.  I just need everything to work.  If you're wondering, Amazon is basically our diaper bill.  I just put it on the amazon store card so I don't have to fit diapers into the grocery budget.  We have a nice little system.  I love the fact that John gets paid once a month because it makes it so much easier to make and stick to a budget.  It takes most of the anxiety out of our finances. 

I feel like I have an actual job once a month.  I get on the computer to pay bills and it makes me feel super business-y.  I'm like the family accountant.  I'm also the family shopper cause I'm better at saving money.  Plus I enjoy getting out of the house once a week.  I feel like I've regained a lot of my sanity since I started doing that.  It helps keep the stir craziness away when I have a weekly outing scheduled. 

That's my exciting day. 

Lost Cause

So, I'm in charge of RCIA at our church this year.  I'm not sure if I mentioned that.  I've really been enjoying the process and I'm really enjoying reflecting on what more I can do next year to make the experience better and run more smoothly.  I've already got a few things in mind.  However, I'm also having a bit of trouble this week as we come to the end of Lent.  What is this trouble?  Absent-mindedness.

Working for two separate parishes in the same diocese for Christmas and Easter is not easy.  Easter is especially more difficult for the Catholic Church because we really take Lent seriously.  This is not to disparage Protestant beliefs at all, though.  I was raised Protestant, so I feel qualified in this instance to say so.  Angela, having experienced both sides would likely agree if her family joined in the Lenten festivities as I suspect they might have.  Just take a look at the list of things we do:

1. Fat Tuesday- eat all your delicious goodies now, because forty days is going to feel like eternity.
2. Ash Wednesday- proclaim your Christianity with ash on your head day; by the way this is a fast day so remember not to eat.
3. Fridays- remember all those delicious things you like to eat that come from animals?  Not today.  You can come to the fish fries though, because fish don't count for some reason.  As long as you're here, stay for the stations of the cross too!
4. Rites for RCIA candidates and catechumen (yep, that's happening!)
5. Confirmation for the high school crowd; we put children first.
6. Palm Sunday- get free stuff day (namely a palm).
7. Holy Thursday- Jesus died
8. Good Friday- Jesus is still dead, so let's get fasting!
9. Easter Vigil (Saturday)- Jesus is alive!  And guess what?  Everyone gets confirmed/baptized who went through RCIA.  Woo!
10. Easter Sunday- Do I really need to explain this?  Don't forget to check for rogue eggs. 

 Incidentally, Easter doesn't end on Easter Sunday.  That's when Easter begins.  Bet you didn't know that.  Unless you're Catholic.  Then you should know that.

So being as I have a lot of stuff I need to prepare for during this time, I've become really, really, really, really absent-minded.  This is extremely emphasized by the story I am coming to the point with.  Yesterday, twice, I locked my keys in the car.  The first time was when I accidentally left them in my coat pocket when I spontaneously decided it was warm enough to discard my coat and leave it in the car.  The second time, I left them in the ignition for some reason.  Both of these times, I happened to have my spare key on me and was able to get in anyway, however, I was irritated with myself for not paying close enough attention to what I was doing and for also doing it twice in the same day.  Then today, I was picking up a package for one of the churches and spontaneously decided to discard my coat in the car again.  I likewise decided not to take the thing that has my spare keys in it because, "I [was] only going in for a minute."  This proved to be a mistake.  Moments ago, recounting the fact that I had locked my keys in the ignition, I made a mental note to take the keys out of the ignition and put them (you guessed it) in my coat pocket.  I had planned to leave my cell phone in the car too, but since I shut the door too quickly after I tossed my coat in, I decided not to bother.  By the time I realized I had locked my keys in the car, it was too late to do anything about it.  I also didn't have my spare, so I ended up having to call the police.  I think if they knew this was the third time I had done it in 24 hours, they might have left me to suffer.  Honestly, I will be happy when Easter comes.  Maybe I'll regain some sanity then.  Four more days!

Paranoia Cake

I think part of being a woman is having an intricate network of internal paranoia.  By internal I mean only our BFFs and significant others truly know how deep it goes.  They see all of the parts of us.  For the sake of illustrating my point, I will allow a brief glimpse into my internal paranoia factory.  First I will simply tell you the 2 simple ingredients that it took to bake today's paranoia cake: my sons strange eye color and one egg.  Now here's the recipe. 

It all started yesterday when I realized Bishops eye color hadn't changed in a long time.  He was born with blue eyes and around 4 months he got this brown patch on his left eye.  I just assumed his eye color was changing because neither of us has blue eyes and I don't know of anyone in our family with blue eyes.  They never changed, they're still like that.  Although now his eyes just look grey.  So I looked it up on the internets and it's called sectoral heterochromia.  The most likely explanation is just some weird genetics going on.  However, one of the rare explanations for any type of heterochromia is chimerism.  That's where 2 separate fetuses fuse together very early in development and you end up with one seemingly normal person with 2 sets of DNA.  My first thought was if that's true, I could possibly have twins in the future (which is scary). 

Of course my rational brain remind me that this is very unlikely and my son is not a chimera.  But now I just happen to be thinking about the possibility of having twins and how hard that would be, etc. 

Then the final nail in the paranoia coffin: I was making eggs this morning and I cracked open the second one and there was 2 yokes in it!  My first thought was "OMG, this egg is twins, is God trying to tell me something?!" 

Then my rational brain enters the room and says "you're not even pregnant.... why are you worrying about fictional babies?" 

The answer: because that's what women do, worry about fictional scenarios.  We are prepared for ALL OF THE THINGS!