I want to talk about labels. I read something yesterday that got me thinking a little bit. I looked through a picture gallery that was all about being an introvert. Of course I could very much relate to most of the content. Then I scrolled through some of the comments because sometimes I hate myself. Seriously, comment threads on popular public websites are the worst. But I found the unicorn of internet comments. It was a thoughtful, well reasoned observation that I didn't agree with but also didn't make me mad. So I thought it would be a good thing to blog about because I didn't want to comment and risk getting into an argument with some moron.
The comment was about how calling someone an introvert isn't helpful because they will then act like an introvert and never learn to be social. It makes sense in a way because if you really don't want to do something and then find out you have an excuse not to do it, you would be happy. But I don't agree at all because in high school, I had never heard the term introvert and that didn't stop me from being quiet and awkward.
I have found that label has helped me be better at socializing. Because I know that it's my nature and not a way I'm choosing to be, it helps me accept myself which makes me more comfortable around people. When I was younger and trying to talk myself into being better, I would make some small progress. Then, inevitably, someone would say to me "why are you so quiet?" and I would think "Well, now I'm back to square one, I haven't improved at all" and then feel bad about myself. By the way, NEVER ask a quiet person why they're quiet. It's not like they're gonna suddenly come out of their shell just because you brought it up. Although if someone asked me that today, I would just shrug and say "That's just who I am" because that's the truth. I have accepted my skills and abilities and being social is not one of them. Then I can laugh about how awkward I am because it's genuinely funny.
So having a label has helped me have a better attitude about myself. For example, if I went to a party and say I talked to 2 people and then sat awkwardly on the couch the rest of the time. Before, I might have left feeling like a failure because I spent so much time awkwardly not engaging with anybody. But now I walk away thinking "Wow, I talked to 2 whole people! That was hard for me and I'm really proud of myself!" I don't have to compare myself to other people, I can be proud of my personal achievement.
The comment was about how calling someone an introvert isn't helpful because they will then act like an introvert and never learn to be social. It makes sense in a way because if you really don't want to do something and then find out you have an excuse not to do it, you would be happy. But I don't agree at all because in high school, I had never heard the term introvert and that didn't stop me from being quiet and awkward.
I have found that label has helped me be better at socializing. Because I know that it's my nature and not a way I'm choosing to be, it helps me accept myself which makes me more comfortable around people. When I was younger and trying to talk myself into being better, I would make some small progress. Then, inevitably, someone would say to me "why are you so quiet?" and I would think "Well, now I'm back to square one, I haven't improved at all" and then feel bad about myself. By the way, NEVER ask a quiet person why they're quiet. It's not like they're gonna suddenly come out of their shell just because you brought it up. Although if someone asked me that today, I would just shrug and say "That's just who I am" because that's the truth. I have accepted my skills and abilities and being social is not one of them. Then I can laugh about how awkward I am because it's genuinely funny.
So having a label has helped me have a better attitude about myself. For example, if I went to a party and say I talked to 2 people and then sat awkwardly on the couch the rest of the time. Before, I might have left feeling like a failure because I spent so much time awkwardly not engaging with anybody. But now I walk away thinking "Wow, I talked to 2 whole people! That was hard for me and I'm really proud of myself!" I don't have to compare myself to other people, I can be proud of my personal achievement.
Fabulous insight and great writing!
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